TONI THE TIGER

ATTENTION!!

2011-05-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

I'm going private! This is for many reasons, none which I will bore you with! If you would like to be apart of my new private blog, please send me your email so I can send you a link!

DAY SIX

2011-04-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

A picture that makes you laugh!!

My sister-in-law is going to kill me for posting this, but this photo made me burst out laughing! This was taken on the airplane on our way back from Houston back in November. I LOVE YOU KAREN!!

And then this picture represents so many fun nights. This is a typical thing for me. Not sitting on the kitchen floor taking random pictures, but finding joy and having fun in the simplest of things. As a poor college student, I don't get to go out and do a lot of fun activities. Most of the time, I just hang out with a bunch of people here at the Cove, sit around not really doing anything, laughing, and having the funnest time!

DAY FIVE

2011-04-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

A picture of something you love....

I LOVE to play the piano. My ability to play is a blessing in my life. It brings a lot of joy and happiness as I sit and play. I just wish I could do it more.

DAY FOUR

2011-04-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

A Picture of something that you'd like to do again.

Go to Disneyland!! I've been so many times, but it's one of my favorite places to go and it's been a little while since I've gone and I'd love to go again!!

DAY THREE

2011-04-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

A Picture of the cast from your favorite TV show.

DAY TWO

2011-04-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry this is a day late. I was really sick yesterday.

A picture of who you have been closest to the longest!

I don't have a picture of my whole family so this one will just have to work.

It's my family! I love each and every one of them so very much! And I'm extremely grateful to have them a part of my life!! :)

30 Day Challenge - Day One

2011-04-05T17:09:00.000-07:00

A lot of my friends have been doing this and I wasn't originally going to do it, but the more I read their blogs, the more I kept thinking of what I would put so I'm giving in and going to do it.

DAY 1: a picture of yourself with 15 Random Facts

1. Chocolate makes me really sick so I have gotten where I really dislike it except for Chocolate Covered Almonds that you get from Costco. I can only eat a couple at a time, but I LOVE THEM!!

2. I go through a giant box of Tree Top fruit snacks from Costco about once a month.

3. I am an avid reader of a stupid technology blog called "Boing Boing"

4. I'm reading the Book of Mormon in Spanish

5. I'm a huge fan of BYU Sports!

6. I made a bracket for March Madness and in my group I tied in 2nd with my Bishop!!

7. I LOVE to cook and I look up recipes often on tasteofhome.com. I receive their daily recipe emails and I'm subscribed to their magazine!!

8. 99% of the time I only listen to church music. If I listen to anything else, it's Billy Joel, Coldplay, or sometimes Musicals/Glee.

9. I have either broken, sprang, or dislocated something about every 6 months for the past 3 years!

10. I used to be an extrovert, but slowly through the years I'm becoming more introverted.

11. I LOVE to play the piano and I don't get the opportunity to play often since I've moved away from home and sometimes it actually makes me cry because I don't have a piano to play on and I miss it dearly.

12. I love random thoughtfulness. I have saved tons of little pictures and notes that people have given me as a wonderful gesture of their love.

13. I have three journals. I have my gratitude journal that I really don't write in that often. I have a little notebook that I write everything in. Thoughts, impressions, insights, things I learned in church or institute that I liked, experiences, etc... Then my last one is my nice journal. This journal is meant for my future daughter. I write in it only the things that I believe or have been impressed to write down the things that I'm going through or have learned that may potentially help her. I want it to be something that I can give to her when she goes to college to show her how I handled things and hopefully it will help her.

14. The little potato bugs or rolly polly bugs scare me speechless. I just want to vomit and run away screaming every time I see one or one comes near me.

15. I'm addicted to Crystal Light!! I can't go a day without having a glass full! I have multiple containers with packets on my shelf in the pantry and I go through about a packet every two days. I don't drink anything else!

Dating and Faith

2011-03-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

I do not know how to do the whole dating thing. As a little girl growing up, I always thought that I was going to be swept off my feet by Prince Charming and live happily ever after by the time I reached this age. Well, as you can tell, it has not happened yet. I'm still single and have no potential of that changing anytime soon.

The last few months I've been trying to figure out how Heavenly Father would like me to do this whole dating thing. I haven't had a lot of experiences with it and I haven't been sure what my role is and how I'm supposed to handle the whole dating thing. As I've been talking with a few friends about it, and studying it as best as I can, I've started to get an idea of how the Lord would like us to approach dating. The answer I got was a "Duh Toni!" type of answer and I can't believe that I haven't thought about it before. We need to approach it with FAITH! Now, I know that is very obvious, but I wasn't viewing it in the way I should have. I knew I needed faith, but I wasn't willing to take chances and willing to put myself out there. I still had the mentality as I did when I was a little girl, and still thought that some guy was going to enter into my life and immediately sweep me off my feet. I don't believe that love happens that way. It takes work and it takes risks.

Today I had an opportunity to exercise my faith. I had to have faith in myself and in the Lord. I took a chance and put myself out there. It was the first time that I've ever done it to the extent that I did today. It was extremely hard for me, but I know that it was the right thing for me to do. Even though it didn't turn out the way that I wanted it to, I'm so proud of myself for the risk that I took. I put myself out there, and now that I've done it, I know that I can do it again. Yeah it sucks, that things didn't turn out the way I would have hoped, but I know that it's okay. I'm okay, I truly am, and one day I'll put myself out there and it will work out for me. I look forward to that day. But for now, I'm happy where I am at in life. I'm happy with the changes I'm making and the person I'm becoming. I'm happy with the life that the Lord has given me and the opportunities that I have to be in school, to have a job, and to be in Provo.

Something that I also learned today or realized today, was how much the Lord loves me. I know this by the people He has put into my life. I made a list today of all the people in my life that have made a difference in the past few months or are in the process of making a difference in my life. My list was long, and as I thought about the people at the top, I was overcome with love and joy knowing that the Lord put these people into my life at this time to help me through the trials that I have been given. I'm so grateful for this. I'm grateful to know that these people love me, but I'm even more grateful knowing how much my Heavenly Father loves me!

Just remember, in The Book of Mormon, in Moroni chapter 7, verse 33 it says, "And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me." If we have faith we can do anything as long as it's in accordance to God's will. I pray and hope that I may have more faith so that this promise is possible for me, and I pray and hope that it will be the same for all of you too.

BLAST OFF!!

2011-03-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was spring break and I went down to Hurricane to spend it with my family. My older sister Heather went through the temple so, my entire family was there. It was really nice to be able to spend that time together. On my last day there, we shot rockets off together. It was a lot of fun. Here is a video of one of the rockets that went off.

SMILE!!

2011-03-16T13:56:00.001-07:00

There is something missing in this picture...can you see what it is?

Yes that's right! I no longer have braces on my top teeth! Yesterday, after many, many, many, many years, I finally got the braces off my top teeth and next month I get my bottoms! I am so excited and so relieved to pretty much be done with it all.

Relationships & Revelation

2011-03-11T15:08:00.000-08:00

Sister Sharon Eubank who is the manager of the Wheelchair Initiative for the Church Welfare Program gave the Friday devotional today. She gave some really great points about relationships and revelation that I found extremely useful so I want to share them with all of you who read my blog.

*Relationships trump stuff. Our relationships in life are more important than the stuff in our lives (and she doesn't just mean physical stuff, she's talking about things like school, work, etc...)
*Humor and inspiration can take a bad situation and make it better.
*Find the things you have in common with people and shorten the distance between you.
*Value those around you. Find those who feel invisible and see them, value what they've done and acknowledge it.
*More than being entertained, people respond to profound, meaningful interactions. People want to interact with each other.
*You need people in your life who are different and who don't always agree with you. This can help you to not make mistakes because it gives you a new perspective on things.
*Build your family relationships. Work and pray for those relationships to flourish and to grow.
*Find ways to connect to those around you, particularly those in your ward.

-God wants us to go to Him with our questions. He is the ultimate source of truth and knowledge. He wants to tell us the answers and to give us truth. We just have to do our part to receive it.

*Be obedient
*The spirit speaks to us when we're reading our scriptures. When we read revelation, it leads to even more revelation.
*The spirit constrains. He warns us out of love and He is trying to protect us. We need to listen to Him when He is prompting us.

Those are just the basic things that I wrote down. A few of the things that really struck me were... 1) That our relationships are more important that the stuff in our lives. A lot of the time I get caught up in my own life and trying to do my own thing. For example, I'm going to school, I have a job, I have a church calling, I have my daily To-do lists, etc...and I might get caught up in those things and forget about the people in my life that mean something to me. I need to work at being better in taking the time for the relationships in my life. 2) A thought that Sister Eubank touched at the end of her talk. She said that God knows us better than we know ourselves. As I thought about this, I came to realized the truth of that statement. God knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our wants, our needs, and so much more. So, if He knows all this, then He knows what are the best things for me to do in my life. He knows what decisions, what habits, what things, I need in my life to be the best that I can be. Since He knows all this, then I need to learn to get out of my own way, and God's way when living my life. I need to put more trust and more faith in Him and have Him lead me the way I need to go.

Change

2011-03-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

Here are some wonderful thoughts from my institute class today that I want to share.

When it comes to making changes in our lives, the Lord can't help us until we want to change or have a desire to change, and with that desire we have to actively try to change. Elder Richard G. Scott in the last General Conference gave a talk called, "The Transforming Power of Faith and Character." In it he says, "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." He uses the word consistent multiple times in his talk, and I think that that is very significant to what he is teaching us. He teaches us throughout his talk about how to gain a righteous moral character and what it can do for us in our lives. For myself, this is probably one of the most powerful talks that was given in General Conference. I love it dearly.

It just hit me very powerfully today that to be able to really change, we not only need to have a desire, we have to actively make the changes in our lives that we want, and it is through our own will power and determination and with the help of our Savior and the atonement that we are able to do that.

I love this gospel!

BYU Basketball Game

2011-03-07T21:49:00.001-08:00

I had the most AMAZING opportunity on Saturday to attend the last home game for the BYU basketball team! It was amazing! I have been wanting to go to one all season and I finally got to for the last home game! I can now say that I have seen Jimmer play live and he was on FIRE during that game! And since it was the last game they celebrated the seniors, plus BYU won the Mountain West Conference and they had a huge celebration afterward.

Before the game they taught us this dance and this is a video of all of us doing it during a media time out in the second half. You can't see me because I'm in the far right, but it was so much fun!

Here are some fun pictures from the Game!

I Can't Explain

2011-03-07T21:38:00.001-08:00

So this is what happens after an FHE activity when we sit on the kitchen floor with my camera. I have no explanation for the following pictures other than we are silly and had a lot of fun! Plus, there are tons more that we took, I just put my favorites on here! Enjoy my crazy friends and I in a silly moment!

The Heart of a Child

2011-03-02T13:39:00.001-08:00

I'm a teacher in an after school program. I have worked there for two years now, and I absolutely love it! I love spending time with the children. I love teaching them, but I love how they teach me so much more! They are the most tenderhearted, sweet, human beings I have ever met!

Most of the kids that are apart of the after school program come from broken homes. The more I learn of their backgrounds, the more my heart breaks for them.

Yesterday, I had an experience with one of these children. He opened up to me about some things in the past that have happened to him and his family. I can't repeat his words, but just know that my heart broke into the tiniest of pieces for him. I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and just hold him! I wanted to bring him home with me and show him that life doesn't have to be that hard.

It is hard for me to comprehend how such a beautiful child like this boy can have a life as hard as it has been for him, and still turned out to be the most loving, kindhearted, optimistic, little boy that he is. I hope he stays as optimistic as he is. I pray that life will get easier for him and that he will grow up to be a wonderful man. I pray for the same with all my children in my class.

If only we could all become as little children, with our hearts pure. I love my job even with the heartache and pain that I see and deal with. I came into this job hoping that I could make a difference, but the difference was made within myself because of the children. I'm grateful for the opportunity that I have had to work with them and to grow to love them like I do. I'm sad that it's going to end soon. I will cherish these last few weeks together.

Joyous Weekend

2011-02-25T13:34:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from the weekend!

We made Oreo truffles (okay they made them while I just hung out with them!)

We went out to lunch for Beaner's Birthday!

Erin and I drove Beaner's car home and we had to document the occasion!

A Sweet 6th Grader

2011-02-22T16:36:00.000-08:00

This is a conversation I had at work today and it was the cutest and sweetest thing! I love this little boy to pieces. He's had a hard life, but he is the most optimistic and happy little boy I have ever met! I pray and hope that good things happen for this boy...he deserves the best!! :)

6th Grader: Guess What Miss Toni?!? I just asked the girl I like to be my girlfriend!
Me: What did she say?
6th Grader: That she has to wait till she's 16 before she can date, but that she still really likes me!
Me: And how do you feel about that?
6th Grader: I like her so much that I could wait FOREVER for her!
Me: That's really sweet of you...
6th Grader: Miss Toni....um...do you have someone that you like in your life?
Me: Not at the moment...why do you ask?
6th Grader: Because I'm so happy and I want you to be as happy as I am!
Me: Thank you for that! That's really sweet of you!
6th Grader: I love you Miss Toni! You are my favorite!
Me: Thank you! I think the world of you too!

The Watchers

2011-02-21T09:28:00.001-08:00

A few months ago at one of the Orem Institute Friday Devotionals, a man by the name of S. Michael Wilcox gave a talk about adversity. He covered three main things that he called, "Lessons From the Savior in His Final Moments!"

1. When we face adversity turn outwards
-The savior still taught and helped those around him even though he was being persecuted and ridiculed. We need to help others when we are struggling also. Look for people to serve and it will help you to overcome and get through your adversity.

2. Watch With Me
- When you face difficult things you need to have someone there to watch with you. In Matthew 26:36-45, this is where the Savior goes to Gethsemane and Peter and two others are with him, but they fell asleep. In verse 38 it says, "...tarry y here, and watch with me." Even though they fell asleep (which in another devotional it was shared that Heavnely Father helped them to sleep because things were going on with the Savior and the Atonement that no normal man could witness or bear. So it was a blessing that they fell asleep), but even though they fell asleep they stayed with the Savior. They were there with him in his time of need as much as they could have been. We need people in our lives to watch with us.

3. You have to act
- When you face adversity it's okay to enter the valley of sorrow, you just can't linger there for a long time. And when you are done, you need to act and do something; don't linger in sorrow and misery.

I want to talk about the watchers in my life. I have tons of people that I know love me and care for me, but I can name five people that have been my watchers for the past few months. I won't name them here, but I thank my Heavenly Father for them all the time. I know they were put into my life to help me through the struggles I've had lately, but also to teach me and to help me grow. I that God works through others around us, so sometimes we may need to be the watchers for someone else.

Something that Brother Wilcox taught that I know is true, is that the greatest watcher we have in our lives is the Savior! Sometimes we need a higher power to watch with us. And when God can't send anyone else to watch with us, He will come Himself and watch with us.

God gave us two Promises:
1. That good will come from whatever we face!
2. That everything comes to an end!
-If Christ can say, "It is finished!" to his suffering, then He can say it to ours also!

I just wanted to share these thoughts with all of you and hope that they help you as much as they have helped me!! :)

Lifting Burdens

2011-02-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

I Love this and wanted to share it with all of you!!

Lifting Burdens

Organizing my Life

2011-02-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Please excuse me while I scream for a minute! I'm just feeling a little bit overwhelmed and a little stretched out! My To-Do List is starting to get really long. I have a lot of goals that I want to accomplish...

-School; I'm behind in my school work and I'm trying my hardest to catch up (I'm pretty sure this weekend I'll be able to get caught all the way up...hopefully!). Plus, I'm trying to get ready for two major tests and a mid-term paper that are all next week!

-Church; I have my calling where I'm on the luncheon committee and we have a luncheon on Sunday that I need to prepare for!

-Friends; I have a lot of friends that I care deeply about! I want to spend as much time with each of them as I can to make sure that they are doing alright and make sure to let them know that I'm always here for them! I have a couple of friends that I'm really worried about because of some things that are going on in their lives and I continually want to make sure they're doing okay.

-Daily Goals; I've got a lot of issues within myself that I'm trying to work on! I'm trying to become the best that I can be and it's through my little daily goals that I'm able to make these changes in my life.

And the list goes on and on....I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, because honestly that's not it at all! To me, these are all extremely amazing blessings in my life and I ask for them and I'm grateful for them! The point of this post is that I'm struggling with organizing my life and having to learn that sometimes if something doesn't get done, it's okay, and to just let it go.

I haven't been this exhausted in a long time, but I also haven't ever been as happy as I've been lately! My life is a crazy mess that I'm trying to get straight and organize, but I know that because I'm doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing, and that I'm living my life the way that Heavenly Father wants me to, that I'm okay. Life has it's good days and it's bad days and I just need to be happy through it all! And through prayer and with help through the atonement I have been able to be happy each and everyday and I absolutely love it! I have my moments...don't get me wrong...I have tons of moments that are hard and I want to give up...but that's when I have learned that I need to turn to prayer, faith, and a newly learned thing called, "Hope!" (Read Moroni 7:40-42).

I Have Been Jimmered!!

2011-02-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

Jimmer Fredette = Gorgeous Man I'm Going to Marry! :)

Yes Ladies and Gents! I have am a fan of Jimmer Fredette!! I have officially been Jimmered! Living in BYU approved housing with tons of BYU students and fans, I have watched many BYU basketball games, and even though I don't particularly know or understand half of what is going on, I love to watch Jimmer play basketball! And with all the hype that Jimmer has been getting lately, I just wanted to add my two cents and say "Yes I love Jimmer!"

A New Day

2011-02-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Life has been kind of depressing lately....pretty much failing my Spanish class, having tons and tons of reading homework for my ethics and values class, having to let go of a couple of friendships, not knowing how much longer I have a job, running out of money, having an allergic reaction to a facial mask causing my face to really break out, not having enough money to do laundry, not having clean clothes, eating the same thing over and over again, blah blah blah......

But who cares right? I'm tired of my stress level being so high it's overwhelming. I'm tired of pretending to be happy. I'm just tired of it all so today is a NEW DAY!

Life sucks, we all know it. I always hate this time of year. I have always suffered from some type of depression and it's always the worst in January and February. And this year I'm done with it. I'm trying my hardest to not be depressed and to be happy. I've come up with a few things that I'm going to do help me to stay happy!

1. I'm going to do more crafts to help keep my mind busy. I have a bunch of crafts that I've started that I'm going to finish up and then move onto starting others.

2. I'm going to read a lot more. I've been lacking on my "fun reading" lately and I've only been doing reading for school so on the nights when I don't have anything I'm going to read for fun.

3. I'm going to try to cook a lot more. I have redone my budget so I can cook now once a week (on Sundays) with a weekly dessert, and once a month for my dinner group. I know that doesn't like a whole lot, but it's a lot more than I've been doing.

4. I'm going to find a piano somewhere that I can play more often. I MISS playing the piano like crazy. And it's one of the only things that can take my mind off things and really cheer me up!

5. I'm going to spend a lot more time with my really great friends Erin Stay and Krystal Scoresby! We are moving in together this summer and I love getting to know these girls! I look forward to the day that we are actually living together and having loads of fun together! I love them to pieces!

"Bow the Knee" - "One Day at a Time"

2011-01-09T23:15:00.000-08:00

Like a lot of people I had made my own New Years Resolutions, but none of them felt very personal to what I really wanted them to be. I wanted to come up with a theme, something that I can refer to throughout the year to help me. I wanted it to be something that I can continually work on. Well, I have finally found it. It is actually two things that I want to work on. As most of you know, I stress way too much, and I over analyze everything. I especially worry about things in the future; things that I really don't have a lot of control over. I don't know why I do this, and I haven't been able to figure out how to stop myself. A couple of days ago, I had a wonderful conversation with a friend, and through that conversation and some deep contemplation about the things that were said to me, I came to realize that I don't have enough faith, or that I don't exercise my faith enough. I've had that on my mind the past few days, and in two separate instances, the Lord gave me two things that have taught me a lot, and that have now become my themes for the year. The first one, I recieved today at the CES Fireside with Elder D. Todd Christofferson. The theme of his talk was "One Day at a Time!" In part of the talk, he said this (know that this isn't an exact quote), "Just get through one day at a time. Don't look ahead to the future, just worry about the present, and deal with the things you can handle right now!" So, my goal with that is to try to not worry about things in the future that I have no control over. I'm just going to worry about each day and about getting through each day, and having more faith to help me get through each day. So, that brings me to the next point. At the Orem Institute Devotional on Friday, the choir sang a song that I have never heard before. It's called, "Bow the Knee." As I sat their and listened, it was so beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear. It states that when life gets hard, turn to our Heavenly Father in prayer. And I realized that to obtain the faith that I need, I need to get on my knees and ask my Heavenly Father for faith and for help to get through each day. Those are my two themes to help me improve myself this next year.

Quote of the Week

2011-01-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

I stole this off of my friend's bulliten board in her apartment and it's now my favorite quote for this week!

"To exercise FAITH is to TRUST that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it."
-Elder Richard G. Scott

A while ago I had some trials thrown my way, and I hate to admit it, but I became very much, "Why me Lord?" Now, as I'm coming out of those trials or at least getting a better perspective on the trials I'm going through, I can look back and see how much I've changed and grown. I can see exactly how the Lord took the things in my life and used them to humble and teach me. Now I see the difference it has made. During that time, I didn't exercise my faith in the Lord. I couldn't understand why certain things were happening and why I was struggling.

I'm grateful I went through the things I did, because I'm a much better person now that I'm on the other side of it. I just hope that the next time some major trials come my way, that I can have the faith I need to trust in the Lord!

Why is Harry Potter so Popular?

2011-01-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

This was the question asked today in my English 2010 class. After doing the typical, "going over the syllabus and course schedule" stuff we spent the last few minutes diving into this question. There was a specific answer that my teacher was looking for and he kept leading the discussion and asking "Why?" to everything we said to help get us there. It started out with answers like; good story lines, it was written well, the characters are well developed, and so on.

I kept thinking about why I like Harry Potter. My answer started out simple, but grew into "because it has heart and is easy to relate to." And this is more of where the class started going to. And with every answer my teacher asked, "Why?" and I asked myself, "Why does it have heart? Why is it easy to relate to?" and I couldn't answer it. And neither could the class, so my teacher gave us an answer that led us to the answer he wanted.

He asked us, "What about the technology in the books? What is it like?" Answer to that question, "When Harry is at home there is tons of modern technology, but when Harry is away at Hogwarts, there isn't any technology; things are old fashioned." And that was what he wanted was "Old Fashioned." Harry Potter is very anti-technology. In a world where there are ipods, computers, cell phones, etc... It is very distracting, most people within this technology driven society like to in a sense, "run away to" or "dive into" another world that doesn't have so much within it's pages.

I like that idea, but I also want to take it a step further. I believe that Harry Potter shows us "Old fashioned values and ideas." I find this really appealing and I'd like to believe that others would also. It shows us how important family and friends are in times of need. It teaches us how to have strength and courage and that you should stand up for what you believe in. It teaches us about love, and how to show your love to others around you, especially through service. There are so many things that can be taken away from Harry Potter that relate to old fashioned core values.

I really like the Harry Potter books and after this discussion today I want to read them again with the mindset that I have. It's amazing what lessons you can find within the pages of a book. This is one of the many reasons that I love reading so much.

Being Busy Again

2011-01-04T22:42:00.000-08:00

School starts tomorrow and I'm so excited! It was a nice relaxing break for the most part, but I'm really excited to have my mind be busy again! I've come to realize that I love the stress of school! Even though sometimes it's really hard, it makes me cry, and I get really overwhelmed, I love that it keeps me busy!

Also, I had a girls night tonight with my roommates and it was wonderful! I'm so happy we're all back together again and were able to catch up! It was really nice to spend time with these girls! I love them all so much and have missed them dearly!

On Love and Marriage

2011-01-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

A friend shared this with me and I have found it to be very profound and I love what C.S. Lewis says!

From C.S. Lewis' book Mere Christianity, under the section entitled "Christian Marriage" (note that I have removed less relevant sections but left everything sequential):

"The idea that 'being in love' is the only reason for remaining married really leaves no room for marriage as a contract or promise at all. If love is the whole thing, then the promise can add nothing; and if it adds nothing, then it should not be made. . . .

"And, of course, the promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits me to being true even if I cease to be in love. A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way. He might as well promise never to have a headache or always to feel hungry. . .

"...Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many good things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called 'being in love' usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending 'They lived happily ever after' is taken to mean 'They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married', then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense--love as distinct from 'being in love' is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both parents ask, and receive from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.

"People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on 'being in love' for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change--not realizing that, when they have changed, the glamor will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last. The sort of thrill a boy has at the first idea of flying will not go on when he has joined the Royal Air Force and is really learning to fly. The thrill you feel on first seeing some delightful place dies away when you really go to live there. Does this mean it would be better not to learn to fly and not to live in the beautiful place? By no means. In both cases, if you go through with it, the dying away of the first thrill will be compensated for by a quieter and more lasting kind of interest. What is more (and I can hardly find words to tell you how important I think this), it is just the people who are ready to submit to the loss of the thrill and settle down to the sober interest, who are then most likely to meet new thrills in some quite different direction. The man who has learned to fly and become a good pilot will suddenly discover music; the man who has settled down to live in the beauty spot will discover gardening.

"This is, I think, one little part of what Christ meant by saying that a thing will not really live unless it first dies. It is simply no good trying to keep any thrill: that is the very worst thing you can do. Let the thrill go--let it die away--go on through that period of death into the quieter interest and happiness that follow--and you will find you are living in a world of new thrills all the time. But if you decide to make thrills your regular diet and try to prolong them artificially, they will all get weaker and weaker, and fewer and fewer, and you will be a bored, disillusioned old man for the rest of your life. It is because so few people understand this that you find many middle-aged men and women maundering about their lost youth, at the very age when new horizons ought to be appearing and new doors opening all round them. It is much better fun to learn to swim than to go on endlessly (and hopelessly) trying to get back the feeling you had when you first went paddling as a small boy.

"Another notion we get from novels and plays is that 'falling in love' is something quite irresistible; something that just happens to one, like measles. And because they believe this, some married people throw up the sponge and give in when they find themselves attracted by a new acquaintance. But I am inclined to think that these irresistible passions are much rarer in real life than in books, at any rate when one is grown up. When we meet someone beautiful and clever and sympathetic, of course we ought, in one sense, to admire and love these good qualities. But is it not very largely in our own choice whether this love shall, or shall not, turn into what we call 'being in love'? No doubt, if our minds are full of novels and plays and sentimental songs, and our bodies full of alcohol, we shall turn any love we feel into that kind of love: just as if you have a rut in your path all the rainwater will run into that rut, and if you wear blue spectacles everything you see will turn blue. But that will be our own fault."

Kicked Off With a BANG!!

2011-01-02T23:31:00.001-08:00

What a better way to start the new year than with the most AMAZING Sunday I've had in a long time!

First, is Relief Society, where the lesson was on making room for the Savior in our lives, how we come unto Christ, and the Atonement! We had a point in the lesson where we were discussing things with our neighbors about how to come close to the Savior. I was talking with my friend Erin Stay, and she stated that Christ was never "Me, Me, Me!" He always served other people, and while she was talking, I came up with this. We should be like the Savior and don't be so much, "Me, Me, Me!" But be more, "You, You, You!" In the sense that don't worry about yourself so much and focus on serving those around you and helping others! I loved this! Also, later in the lesson we were reading scriptures about Christ, and one that I loved was Helamen 5:12 where it talks about building a foundation on Christ. You should look it up right now and read it...so great!

After RS was Sunday School, where my really awesome friend, BZ, was teaching the lesson. And once again, it was on the Savior. We are studying the New Testament this year and he shared a few scriptures that just hit me like a rock and really touched me! Read Isaiah 61:1-3. I especially loved verse 3 where it talks about what the atonement does and how Christ helps us! Also, please read Luke 4:18-20 and then study John 1 and D&C 93 (which is a commentary on John 1).

Then we had Sacrament Meeting, which was fast and testimony meeting. Our ward was extremely tiny today because hardly anyone has come back from the break yet, so I was really worried that it was going to be an hour of just sitting there in silence, which is nice sometimes, but also really awkward. It wasn't that way at all! It was probably the best testimony meeting ever! So many people bore their testimonies and they were about the Savior, and about service, and the spirit was extremely strong in the room. It actually caused me to cry the whole time (yes I know I cry a lot, especially when I feel the spirit!).

I have such a special relationship with my Savior! I'm grateful for it and I'm trying to maintain it and make it better each day! Today was really great because it gave me a day to focus on Him and to reflect on our relationship and how I can make it stronger and better! I'm so grateful for the atonement and for the sacrifice that the Savior did for each of us!

New Years Eve

2011-01-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

My camera died so I don't have any pictures...I'm sorry! But it was an interesting day for, me and I want to share!

It started out just like any other day, I slowly crept out of bed, got ready for the day, hung out around my apartment reading, not really doing anything. That was pretty much the whole day.

In the early evening, my friend Amanda, who lives above me, starting chatting with my on Facebook and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. We went over to apartment 221 to see if they wanted to come and our friend Erin was over there and so was Dallin and BZ. We hung out there for a while and just chatted before heading to dinner. After dinner we tried to find a couple of places to do donuts. Yeah I've never done them before so it was a new experience for me, not sure if I really liked it. Plus, we didn't find any great places to do them so I didn't get the full experience. We then ran to the store to get ready for the "Mormon Drinking Party" that was being held at the guys' apartment.

(The whole time that I was with these guys, I was really quiet. I did have a headache, but I also realized that when I don't know someone really well, which is the case with a few of my friends that I was with, that I don't talk a lot or show my personality at all. It's crazy to me, but I should work on that!)

Honestly, the party was very hard for me. I've come to realize over the past few weeks that I've become an introvert in so many ways. I like it when I'm alone or when I'm with a small group of people that I know. It started out okay because everyone there were people in my ward and people I knew, but I was still a little uncomfortable. As time went on though, more and more people showed up who I didn't know. I became very uncomfortable and withdrew into my shell. I forced myself to stay and be there and to socialize, which was fun, I did have a lot of fun, it was just awkward the whole time for me.

And the craziest part of the night was when I went home! I don't remember a whole lot that happened, but I do remember that I sent out a few crazy texts to some people in my life. It was around three in the morning and who knows what I was thinking. I know a few people got them and others didn't. So, I just want to apologize to those that got them, I have no idea what I was thinking in that moment. I was not myself. For those of you who didn't get them or have yet to get them, don't open them, and I'm sorry. I have no idea what happened. I have vague memories of coming home, getting ready for bed, and of what happened as I laid in bed. This is why I shouldn't stay up late. Again, I'm sorry for whatever was said. Please don't judge me for it!

Overall, I think I enjoyed my evening. I hope the rest of you all had a great evening and I hope you have a HAPPY NEW YEARS!!

Goals For the New Year

2010-12-29T14:32:00.001-08:00

With New Years coming up and a new semester, I've been thinking a lot about how I want to do things differently and some goals that I'm setting for myself!

*The first goal I have for myself, I stole off of a friend's blog. This is her goal for the new year. It's S.A.S.S. or Simple Acts of Selfless Service. I want to serve others more. I've been reading President Monson's biography and it inspires me to want to serve as he has. Most of the things he has done have just been through small and simple acts of service. I'm going to pray and search everyday for the opportunity to serve someone else at least once a day!

*Another goal is to be better in my journal writing. I want to write down all of these experiences I've been going through and look back on them and see how far I've come, plus, we've been asked by the prophets and apostles to write in a journal to keep for our posterity.

*The last goal I'm going to mention is that I want to improve my knowledge of the gospel. And what better way than through the scriptures. I'm right in the middle of a goal, where I wanted to read the Book of Mormon for this school year so I have till April to finish that. So, as soon as I'm done with that I'm moving on to D&C and Pearl of Great Price, then on to the Old Testament and then the New Testament. I want to read all of them through. It's going to be tough because I am one who likes to just flip through the scriptures and read randomly and see what I can learn. I also love to learn about specific topics and search the scriptures and see what I can learn! I know I can do it though! Especially if I set my mind to it! :)

Reflection on Family

2010-12-24T19:07:00.000-08:00

Tonight was Blissful! With all of the craziness of my family being together I came to realize how much I truly love each of them! I paused my life for an instance and looked to each member of my family that was with me and also took a moment for those that are away elsewhere and reflected on how much each one means to me, on all that they have done for me and how they've helped me to become who I am today. I realized that even though we have our problems and don't get along the best sometimes, that they are my family. We are bound eternally and will always be no matter what happens here in this life. I have learned a lot from each of them and I love them all so much!

Good Things to Come

2010-12-20T09:29:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite Mormon Message and I just wanted to share it with all of you! :)

Christmas Challenge

2010-12-19T21:51:00.000-08:00

Tonight at ward prayer, I had a thought come to me. It was asked during the prayer that we would be able to show our gratitude for God's hand in our lives...and then a little later that during this Christmas season, we would remember the sacrifice of our loving Savior, Jesus Christ. As these two statements were said, I thought to myself..."I need to do more of that!" So, my challenge for myself and for anyone else that wants to do it, is that for the next week until Christmas, and hopefully everyday after that, that I'm going to write down each night at least one thing that I'm grateful for that my Heavenly Father and Savior did for me that day. It's nothing spectacular, but I think it'll help me get into the Christmas Spirit. Because of school and everything that has been going on in my life as of late, I haven't felt like it's Christmas at all and so I want to spend the next few days getting into the spirit of Christmas and remembering my Savior!

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas! :)

Temple Blessings

2010-12-18T14:37:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the temple with Melissa and it was AMAZING! I started reading Boyd K. Packer's "The Holy Temple" this morning and got about 1/4 of the way through it before we went. I went to the temple with a new understanding of the importance of temple work. I had found this new love for those who have passed on before us through the words of President Packer. I could feel the spirit and feel the gratitude of those I was doing the work for! It was amazing!

But that's not the best part. I guess while I was getting confirmed, this guy came in and heard my last name. Then, when we were in line waiting to be baptized, he tapped my shoulder and asked me about my last name and where it came from. I gave him some answer, and then he preceded to tell me that his mother's maiden name was Stratton. Her dad had left them and that they didn't know anything about that part of their family. The conversation quickly ended and we continued to sit there waiting to head to the font. As the minutes went by, the more I felt prompted to talk to him and try to help him. I finally got an opportunity and I told him how a lot of the genealogy work for my family has been done, and that I'm more than happy to give him what he needs and to help him see if we can find where his grandpa fits in and to learn about that part of his family. I also said that I'm not sure how much I can do, but I'll do all that I can to help him. Before we left, I gave him my contact information and now I'm going to sit and wait and see if he contacts me. I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity. I don't know what will come from this, but just the fact to feel as a potential tool of the Lord to help others around me is a blessing unto itself.

The temple is an amazing place! It truly is the House of the Lord and I'm grateful that I am worthy to be able to enter, to feel of His love for me and to receive instruction from Him. I look forward to the day that I can enter in to receive my endowment and to be sealed. I am truly blessed and loved by my Heavenly Father and by my Savior, Jesus Christ! :)

Here are some of my favorite temples...

Salt Lake City, UT Temple - I love temple square at Christmas Time!

Provo, UT Temple

San Diego, CA Temple - This temple has a lot of significant meaning to me! Plus, it's so beautiful!

St. George, UT Temple - And of course my personal favorite! This is the temple I grew up with and the one I want to get married in!

I'm Done!

2010-12-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

I just finished my last final!! I think I did really well on all my finals this semester! There is only one class that I'm really worried about my overall grade, but I know I did really well in all the others! :) This semester of classes was a relatively easy. I didn't have an extremely hard list of classes, but it was also the hardest semester I've ever had due to all the things going on around me. I'm grateful it's over and that I can now move on and have a better experience, hopefully, this next semester! :)

My Heart is Full

2010-12-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

My heart is full of gratitude today! I've had some things going in my life where I've needed to rely on some AMAZING people in my life. Also, yesterday was my birthday and it was the best birthday I've ever had! I have never felt so much love from those around me!

Technically I started my birthday with a bunch of my friends. Monday night after FHE I was over at apt. 221. I don't know if I've mention that apartment before, but it's four of the most amazing guys I've ever met in my life! They have become like brothers to me and I love them all so very much! Amazing people to have in my life...anyways...I was over at their apartment with some of my other friends. We were just hanging out having fun. It was amazing to not have to worry about anything during that time. And around midnight, one of the boys decided to make pancakes, so the first thing I did for my birthday was eat pancakes! It was so much fun because we were all exhausted and just silly and full of laughter!

Then yesterday morning I woke up to birthday decorations everywhere, and Melissa took me to breakfast for my birthday! It was nice to just sit and talk with her and enjoy the moment. We've both been so busy and our schedules don't match up that well, that we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together. So, it was extremely nice to spend quality time with her. Then I went and studied for my Spanish oral exam. I did that most of the afternoon.

Later that afternoon, I realized that Melissa was going to be at work, my roommates had finals, so did a lot of other people, and others already had plans for the evening. I didn't know what I was going to do so I texted my friend Erin to see if she wanted to hang out. She did so we made plans for around seven. Well, around five, another one of my amazing friends came over and just hung out with me and talked with me! I loved it! And then around seven, Erin called and was like, "So don't get upset with me, but don't eat anything." She was very cryptic and I knew something was up. She called me later and asked if "they" could come over to my apartment. So, I knew others were involved and then around seven thirty, her and our friend, Brian, came over with food. We ate dinner and had a great conversation and then all of sudden it was like, "Okay we have to go because "the thing" starts soon!" They whipped me off, another friend joined us, and took me to the movie theater. They hid what movie we were going to me the whole time. I had it narrowed down to two movies though. It was either going to be Chronicles of Narnia or Tangled. I was secretly hoping it was going to be Tangled because of how much I LOVE that movie, but there was boys with us and I didn't think they would bring me to a Disney princess movie. But as soon as the actual movie started, I was so excited because it was Tangled! They had talked to Melissa earlier and found out that I really wanted to see that movie. I almost lost it right there in that moment. I was so touched because the more time went on, the more I realized how much thought was actually put forth into it. I originally thought that maybe Erin just quickly threw something together earlier that day, but I found out later that they have actually been planning this for quite a few days. And after the movie, we came back to my apartment for cake. My roommates had put up more decorations and had invited a few more of my friends from the ward over. I was so touched. I still am. I have never felt so loved in my life. Plus, all of the amazing birthday wishes given through phone calls, text messages, and through facebook. So many people have shown me their love for me! I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I'm grateful!

So for all of those who helped make my birthday so great, I just want to say...

THANK YOU!

From the bottom of my heart, I love you dearly, and I'm grateful for all that you do for me! :)

Just Before Dawn

2010-12-07T16:43:00.000-08:00

"the darkest hour is just before the dawn"

I saw this on a friend's blog yesterday and I hope it's true! For those of you who don't know, I broke my right hand (I'm right handed) on Monday! This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I was already stressing over so many things, and then to add this on top of it, I completely lost it yesterday many times!! The doctor gave me really crappy pain pills and I haven't been able to sleep or focus at all because I've been in so much pain! Also, I've just been in a really negative mood and very much "Why me?"

Well, God has humbled me. A few things have happened to me where I received insights on how to overcome this and what I was supposed to learn. I hit my darkest point and now God is helping me reach the dawn and overcome all my trials and tribulation. Right now I can't say I'm grateful for this experience, but I know one day I will be, but I am grateful that our most loving Heavenly Father is there for me and helping me through this each and every moment!

Spanish Story

2010-12-04T16:21:00.000-08:00

In my Spanish class we were practicing for our oral exam. I was conversing with my partner and then what I thought he asked was if I wanted a peso, which is Mexican money, and I said Si or Yes. What he actually asked was if I wanted a beso, which is a kiss. I should explain that earlier in the semester a few of us were talking and this kid was saying how he had kissed like four girls in one day. I told him that I thought that was wrong. He asked why so I went on to explain how I felt about kissing. I won't kiss anyone unless I'm in a relationship with them. Kissing is not something you do for fun, it is a way to show someone that you truly care about them. So he knew how I felt about this. So when he asked me if I wanted a beso, thinking it was peso, and agreed yes, he was shocked but he went for it anyways. I was a little distracted by something else, when I say him getting closer to me, and I turned to him and realized what was going on. I raised my right arm to push/hit him away. I ended up hitting him in the eye with my fist and then as my arm continued to move, with my elbow. So, he got a double whammy into the eye. I was so angry with him that day. I didn't feel at all bad after it happened. The whole class was laughing, including my professor who didn't get after me at all because he witnessed the whole account. This kid was laughing about it to, but I was so frustrated that he would try something like that. Later that night though as I was telling a friend, I just started to laugh and now I find the whole situation extremely funny. Plus, this kid has the biggest black eye which he totally deserved! :)

Gratitude for the Year

2010-11-25T18:37:00.000-08:00

I've been doing weekly posts about what I've been grateful for this month, but tonight, at the close of Thanksgiving Day, I want to post about things that have happened this year that I'm grateful for. These are in no particular order...

-I'm grateful that my sister was able to have two healthy baby boys, that everything turned out well with her pregnancy and that she's okay as well! Caleb and Wyatt are so adorable and I love to just look at them! I'm a little nervous holding them because it's been an extremely long time since I've held a newborn, but I LOVE to hold them!

-I'm grateful that I was able to go home for the summer. It gave me a chance to spend one last summer with my family before I join the real world. I don't ever plan on moving home again, and this summer I got to spend some major quality time with my parents, a couple of my siblings and their families. It was a very relaxing summer and was exactly the break I needed before school started again. I'm grateful for how close I was able to get to Colt and Karen. Karen and I were really able to bond and now she is one of my closest friends. Colt has always been my best bud so it was just great to spend time with him! :)

-I'm grateful that I was able to live through my apartment experience during Spring Semester and move into the most amazing place, full of amazing experiences in the apartment I'm in now. I couldn't have asked for a better place to live. Heavenly Father knew exactly where I needed to go and things worked out perfectly that I could be where I am!

-I'm grateful that I was able to share a room with Melissa in our last apartment! That situation caused us to become really close. It was hard leaving for the summer, but now that we live together again, even though we each have our rooms, we have still been really close. She is my sister in so many ways and I'm so grateful to have her be apart of my life.

-I'm grateful for the trials I've had in my life this past year, especially the ones I've had this semester. This semester has been the hardest one yet emotionally. A lot of things have happened that have caused me to completely reevaluate my life, and with the help of my Heavenly Father, my Savior, and some Amazing People in my life, I've been able to come out a completely different person with my life headed in the direction that I have always wanted it to go.

-I'm grateful for learning! I have learned so much this year through school, church, and just about life in general. It amazing how much more I know now than I did a year ago.

-I'm grateful for the ability to grow! I have grown up so much this past year. I think back to the beginning of the year and the priorities that I had in life and to what they are now, and it's 100 % different.

-I'm grateful for the friends I've made this past year! There have been so many!

-I'm grateful for the friends I still have from years before! I love you for sticking with me and putting up with me!

-I'm grateful for so many other things, but I'm tired and this is basically all I wanted to say! I hope you all had an amazing Thanksgiving! I'll post about mine another time! ;)

Dreams for the Future

2010-11-23T19:03:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the future. About what qualities I want in my future companion and what type of relationship I want, plus, what types of things I want to have done within my family and what type of parent I want to be.

First, My Future Companion - Mostly, I want someone that makes me feel safe. Someone that I can go to for a hug on those bad days, who will reassure me and tell me everything's going to be okay. I want someone who I can tell my worries to, who will discuss them with me and not think that even the smallest ones are trivial and non-important. I want someone who can rely on me. I need them to tell me their struggles and worries so I can be there for them and support them. I want someone that will discuss the gospel with me. I don't have a great knowledge of the gospel, but I desire one and I'm learning as best I can, but I want someone who will help me and teach me the things I don't know. I want someone that I can feel the spirit with. I'm finding out that when I'm with certain people, I can feel the spirit through them, and it's stronger in some than with others. I want someone who I can feel the spirit strongly within them.

Type of Relationship with my Eternal Companion - I want us to love each other always. I know we'll have our problems, but I don't want that to ever be a source of contention. I don't want us to ever lose our ability to talk to each other; to communicate openly about everything. I want everything we say to each other to be kind words, full of love, and uplifting. I want us to pray together, study together, and go to the temple together. I want our decisions to be made together. Pretty much I want us to go through this life together, with its ups and downs, and everything in between, with love and joy, and our life being centered around our Heavenly Father.

Things Within My Future Family - I want the type of family that we pray together always and for everything. When we sit around the kitchen table together I want the spirit to be there and to have scriptures open and we're discussing the gospel over dinner. I want the gospel to be the focus of the household, with the Savior at the head. I want my house to be full of love and that my children know that they are loved no matter what they do.

Type of Parent I want to Be - I want to teach my kids through all sorts of things. I want to be able to teach them life lessons or gospel lessons through teaching them how to cook or how to fold laundry or in the smallest things within their life. I want to be the person they can go to for advice on how to handle trials in their life. Mostly, I want my kids to know how much I love them. It's something that I'm going to tell them every day.

These are just a few things that I've been thinking about lately. Not that I'm anywhere near to obtaining them. I've just been going through and making some major changes in my life and on the things I want out of life. These are a few things that have crossed my mind as I've been going through these changes. I know that my life is not going to be perfect and things are not going to be how I'm planning, but I know the feeling of the things I want because all of these things require in some way for the spirit to be involved. I've felt the spirit and know what is required to receive it so I'm going to try my hardest to have it in my life always!

Gratitude Week 3

2010-11-21T14:51:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm so grateful for tons of things!

First, I'm grateful for the tender mercies that my Heavenly Father gives me each day! I was so blessed today. I went and did my visiting teaching and one of the girls I teach is headed home to Southern Utah the same time that I'm headed also. We agreed to carpool and I'm so grateful for this. There's a bad storm coming through and I've been having a huge anxiety attack about driving through it. Now that she's coming with me, I have a much greater sense of ease as I travel home. I'm excited to have someone with me to help me through this experience! :)

I'm grateful for visiting teaching, and most of all home teaching! :) Today was a busy day! I had my visiting teaching to do, then my home teacher came over, and then my visiting teacher came over. All one right after another. It is such a great thing how much we help each other in the church! I'm so grateful for all that these things have done for me!

I'm grateful for the ability to learn! I love to learn, mostly about the gospel! I feel as though my knowledge of the gospel is slowly but surely increasing. I'm grateful for this. I don't have the greatest knowledge of the gospel so I'm grateful that I have the ability to learn and to know more!

I'm grateful for the ability to go to the temple! I had the opportunity to go with the sisters in my ward this week and it was beautiful! I feel as though it helped us grow together and it created a wonderful connection between some of the girls and myself! Plus, the temple is an amazing place to go. I look forward to the day that I can become endowed and hopefully, one day I can be sealed there also!

I'm grateful for the ability to feel of the spirit and to receive promptings. It's such a blessing to have in my life and I'm grateful I'm worthy to have it!

There are so many things I'm grateful for, but here are just a few for this past week! :)

Frankie Boots

2010-11-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

This is my kitty! I miss her dearly! She is the most loving cat I've ever seen! Whenever I go home, she won't leave me alone! She just wants me to love her and she shows me all of her love! I'm grateful to have her! I miss her a lot and wish I could bring her up here to Provo with me! :)

Gratitude Week 2

2010-11-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

My heart is so full today! I'm so grateful for so many things, but mostly today I'm grateful for the people in my life!

First, and foremost, is my family. I had the opportunity to go home for a night this weekend. I got to spend time with my dad, Colt, Karen, Heather, Scott, and their kids. I realized and appreciated how much I've missed them. My niece Sage, on her birthday (which was on Oct. 31), made me really miss home. When I asked if she got everything she wanted for her birthday, she replied, "No, because I wanted you to come home for my birthday." It broke my heart. She told me how much she missed me, and I told her I miss her and love her too and if I could have been there I would have! I'm so eternally grateful for my family and for the love they show me.

Next, I'm grateful for Melissa. This last month has been really difficult for me. I've been all over the place emotionally and she has been by my side the whole time. She put up with me through all my selfishness and craziness. I love her dearly and I hope that I can repay her for all that she has done for me.

Then, there is Shum and Natalie. "Shum" is a nickname for Julia. These two girls are in my ward, and they have just opened their arms to me full of friendship, love, and kindness. It's amazing how quickly we have clicked and become friends. We had a wonderful conversation today, covering everything from gospel topics to boys to food and so much more. I'm so grateful for the Lord putting them into my life.

The last one I want to mention is my home teacher, Dallin. He has helped me so much lately in more ways than one. I've been struggling in Spanish and he has been tutoring me and helping me pass my class. Sometimes I feel as though I'm taking advantage of his hospitality because I'm getting help from him almost everyday with my homework. Plus, he always knows what to say when I've needed to hear it the most. He's been such a great friend and an amazing home teacher who I look up to as an older brother. He reminds me a lot of my brother, and I'm grateful to have him around.

The Lord has blessed me by putting amazing people in my life! I'm so grateful for that because there's no way that we can get through this life alone. There are so many people around each of us that are there to help us, and we to help them. We are to grow from one another and to love one another. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn from all those around me! ;)

Gratitude Week 1

2010-11-08T07:08:00.001-08:00

I was going to do this yesterday, but life happened so I didn't get the chance! I want to post once a week some of the things I'm grateful for since it is the month of Thanksgiving! :)

This week I'm grateful for so many things, but the there's only two at the moment I want to mention.

First, I'm so eternally grateful for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. This past week was a really hard one, and it was only with his help through the atonement that I made it through. It's amazing how we can just turn to him and he will help us with our trials and tribulations!

Second, I'm grateful for the BYU 167th Ward! I have come to know so many wonderful people in my ward! This is probably the best ward I've ever been in and I'm so grateful for that! I have never felt so much support and love from the people around me! Everyone is so wonderful and friendly and loving! I'm very grateful for the friendships I have and for the ones I'm forming and the ones yet to come within my ward! :)

The Spider or the Butterfly

2010-11-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

This is an analogy that a guy in my FHE family gave as our lesson a few weeks ago. This is coming from my memory so hopefully I don't ruin it, but it was so beautiful and I just want to share it with all of you!

Imagine coming out of your house or apartment. You see on a bush or railing or something that's outside your door, a spiderweb. You see in the spiderweb the most beautiful butterfly that's all tangled up with the spider near by. What would you do? Would you freak out because there's a hideous spider? Would you try to save the beautiful butterfly? Would you ignore the situation completely and just let life take its course? No matter what you do, one or the other is going to die. If you save the butterfly, the spider dies. If you leave the butterfly alone, it dies. How would you make that decision? Would it be based on beauty? Some people think that spiders are more beautiful than butterflies while others think that butterflies are more pretty than spiders. The butterfly may be extremely beautiful on the outside, but how do you know what's on the inside? Same as the spider may be ugly on the outside, but it may have the most beautiful heart on the inside. Next time you see someone, don't judge and make a decision on how you're going to treat them by what they look like on the outside. Find out who they are on the inside and what their hearts are like. Find the beauty in everyone, and give them compliments on what makes them beautiful!

I know that I didn't portray this exactly how he did, but the same point came across. When he started the analogy, we all thought he was going to talk about saving others or something like that, but then he just all of a sudden twisted it around and talked about not judging others and finding the beauty in everyone.

My Lord, My God

2010-11-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

My Lord, My God Song (open in a new tab and read the lyrics as you listen to this AMAZING song)

When I am weak
And I can't find strength from within
I call his name
And find my strength in him

When I am lost
And I don't know where to begin
The light of the Lord leads the way
I'll ever trust in him

My Lord, my God
My Lord, my best-friend
My Lord, my God

In your arms I'll grow, don't ever let me go

I feel his love
I know in my heart that he lives
The spirits voice testifies of him

My Lord, my God (My Lord, my God, my best-friend)
My Lord, my best-friend (My Lord, my God, my best-friend)
My Lord, my God (My Lord, my God, my best-friend)

In your arms I'll grow, don't ever let me go,
please hear me, speak peace to my soul, be near me
Without you Lord, there is no light, in the world
In my life

My Lord, my God (My Lord, my God, my best-friend)
My Lord, my best-friend (My Lord, my God, my best-friend)
My Lord, my God (My Lord, my God, my best-friend)

In your arms I'll grow, don't ever let me go

Alpine Loop

2010-10-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an AMAZING day! It was a busy day though! This is in no particular order...I went to church, which was fabulous, had a meeting for my calling, did my visiting teaching (Melissa taught the lesson and it was one of the best lessons I've ever heard!), was taught by my visiting teachers and had a great talk with them, cooked a wonderful dinner for my roommates and close buds, got help from my fantastic home teacher with my Spanish paper (I don't do homework on Sundays, he just read over it and checked for grammatical errors), had an amazing gospel discussion with my home teacher and his roommate, went to ward prayer, played games after ward prayer (my favorite was the Mormon drinking game), had a good talk with Melissa, and best of all went on a spectacular drive on the Alpine Loop with Tyson and Melissa!

We spent the whole time talking, laughing, and just enjoying the view! Here are some fun pictures of our trip! :) (It was raining really bad most of the time so a lot of the pictures are out of focus).

Here's Tyson gathering leaves!

Here's Melissa Showing the pretty leaves that Tyson picked!

Here's the three of us! Ignore my arm! :)

Here's me pulling a silly face with Melissa!

Monday Ramblings

2010-10-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend I've been sick. It's just a really nasty head cold, and my body has felt like I was run over by a train. I have felt so loved and blessed by those around me! I had many people wish me well and bring me soup or medicine.

I found out today that my good friend Brooke, is going through a tough time right now. I hate that I can't just drive to her house and help her in any way that I can. I don't call her hardly at all, but I do Facebook stock her a lot, read her blog, and try to stay updated in her life. All I'm going to say is this, "Brooke I love you dearly! You are in my thoughts and I'm praying for you to receive the help and comfort you need to get through this!"

Since I was sick this weekend, I didn't get my homework done like I had wanted to. Now, I have two late assignments, plus about six more to do tonight and tomorrow night. Plus, we have cleaning inspections on Wednesday so I have to deep clean everything on my list between tonight and tomorrow night. And I have no energy whatsoever to do any of this.

We have FHE tonight and I really want to go, one because we're going to a corn maze, two because we're combining with another group, who are some of my favorite people to hang out with, but I still am sick and I have everything else I need to get done, so, well just have to see how it works out.

My roommate just walked in the door and she's now sick, so I'm feeling pretty bad because now three of us are sick and the other one is trying her hardest to not get sick. Sorry gals! :(

This post is mostly just to ramble. I've got so much on my mind and I thought if I just put a few of my thoughts out there, then my head might feel a little lighter and may be able to think more clearly. Not working so far, but we'll see in a few minutes! I hope you all, the small handful of people who actually read my blog, are doing well! I love you all! :)

Lesson Learned This Week

2010-10-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

I learned a really big lesson this week. As mentioned in a previous blog, I've changed my study habits concerning the scriptures. I feel as if I've been on this wonderful, life-changing, spiritual high for the past couple of weeks! Then the past three days happened. When I study, I study Preach My Gospel, True to the Faith, and other aids like that along with my scriptures. While I'm studying, if I receive insights, thoughts, promptings from above, and questions, I write them down. I find this to be the best way for me to grow in my knowledge and understanding of the gospel.

So, while studying--usually I'm studying the basic principles of the gospel--I will get a question, write it down, and if it's something I can find an answer for myself I will. Sometimes though, through studying the basics, I will get questions that are very hypothetical or philosophical and don't matter when it comes to my salvation. These usually deal with deep doctrine of the gospel. When I get these, I usually go to Melissa and ask her what her opinion is, and sometimes I'll ask a few others around me. I don't worry about them or stress over them. I usually will think about them for a little while, put them on my "One day God will explain these to me so I'm just going to have faith" shelf. I've had a few experiences like these the past few weeks, and I spoke a few of them out loud to my roommates and some close friends around me.

On Monday, at Family Home Evening, the lesson was about having questions about deep doctrine. The guy giving the lesson, we'll call him "Bob", was talking about an experience he had on his mission. A fellow missionary had a deep question about the gospel. Bob stressed over it until he came to the conclusion that we shouldn't worry about deep doctrine and shouldn't study it and just study the basics; faith in Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, and the Book of Mormon. This is when another guy in my ward, who I had ask one of my questions to a week earlier, leaned over to me and said that Bob was talking to me. I was hurt by this statement. I thought that what I was doing was correct. Then Bob went on and said that he went and talked to his mission president about it. His mission president said that yes, it is important to study the basics. We need to understand them and know them, but it is important to study the deep doctrine because they deepen our faith and understanding. I liked the lesson Bob gave. It helped me, but the comment that was made to me caused me to start to question myself.

The next day in my Book of Mormon institute class we were studying in 2 Nephi and there was a scripture talking about the atonement and how through the Messiah we receive grace and truth. My teacher asked us if we knew what grace was. No one could answer the question so we dove into the scriptures; into the bible dictionary under "grace" and discussed it. As time went on, I kept getting more and more confused because as we were defining grace, I kept thinking, "I thought that is what mercy was." I wanted to know the difference, if there was one, between grace and mercy. I didn't get the opportunity to ask my question during class, but my following class was canceled and I was sitting at a table with some friends. I asked them my question, figuring that the answer I was looking for was black and white, and that I was the only one who didn't know the answer. I have talked to them about the gospel before, and when I voiced this question, one of the girls said, "You talk about the gospel a lot. Questions like that don't really matter so don't worry about it." Once again, I was hurt. And again, I started to question my faith and myself.

I came home from school and slaved over my scriptures and True to the Faith and couldn't find the answer I was looking for. I called my brother and he gave me a really good answer. I thought it was what I was looking for, until I voiced what he said to my roommate, who then asked me another question that questioned my understanding of what he said. I became so confused and frustrated not so much because of my question, but because I was having a major internal struggle about how I study the scriptures and about my faith and understanding of the gospel. I ended up just giving up and wouldn't touch my scriptures anymore. I felt like I had lost a part of myself.

The next day, the question about grace and mercy started to bother me even more. I called a friend in the ward, who I trusted, and he couldn't answer the question for me. Then my roommate came home. She said that she had talked to her dad about it. The answer her dad gave didn't help at all, but then she said this, "My dad said that we shouldn't study deep doctrine. Because studying it will make us question our faith and turn us away from God." This crushed me. I wasn't hurt by her, but by the statement. Here with me feeling as if I was losing my faith already, this statement led me off the edge and into despair. I hadn't touched my scriptures in 24 hours, which was hard for me, but I didn't know how to study them anymore. I just didn't know what to do. I felt as if all I could do was pray, and that's what I did. I did open True to the Faith and reread the statements in them about grace and mercy and the answer to my question finally clicked in my head.

*Grace - is DIVINE help and strength and we receive it from the Lord THROUGH the Atonement.

*Mercy - is help and strength we receive BECAUSE of the Atonement and we can show mercy on others.

This is exactly the answer I was looking for. I was relieved for that, but I was still questioning my faith. During this whole ordeal, Melissa kept telling me that this is Satan's way of trying to stop me during this spiritual high I've been on. I tried to believe her, but I was so confused on what I was feeling. I went to bed last night in tears and with a huge prayer in my heart for guidance.

This morning I woke up feeling peace, I decided that I was just going to keep studying my scriptures the way I have been until Heavenly Father tells me differently.

Later, Sariah called me. I talked to her about it and she reassured me some more. I also talked to my friend Tyson, who was the one that gave me the answer I needed. He said that as a missionary, you have to study the deep doctrine. As long as you don't look for answers in places you shouldn't like other churches or in Google search, it's fine. You also need to know that your questions might not get answered, but the really important ones will. That's when I felt Heavenly Father's love that He wants me to just continue doing what I've been doing.

My faith is restored and I'm at peace again. I think I mostly learned to just hold on to my faith. It scared me how much I lost faith in myself. I never stopped believing in the gospel and it's truth, just in how I perceived and studied it. This was a tough experience for me, but it taught me so much about myself and on faith and I feel prompted to share it. That's why I wrote this post. I don't know why, but if this helps anyone else than I'm even more grateful.

I know this church is true. I love learning about the gospel and love deepening my understanding of it. I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I love saying that! This is Christ's church and I believe in Him with all my heart. I also believe Him when He says he'll help me and take my sins, pains, sorrows and weaknesses away from me. He has done this so many times for me already. Because of this I know He loves me! This gospel is true! I can't imagine a life where it isn't apart of who I am. I'm grateful for this experience I've had. It was hard, but now as I look back I love that I had it. Trials are so amazing. I love how they change us and make us better. This is the whole reason were here on the Earth. We're here to learn and grow. As Elder Wirthlin stated, "Come what may and love it!"

Pet Peeve

2010-10-13T13:44:00.000-07:00

My biggest pet peeve at the moment is when people offer their help and then don't fulfill in that when I try to accept their help. It's extremely frustrating especially when my grade in a class depends on it!

Changes

2010-10-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

My favorite part of my day is between when I get home from school to before I leave for work. I have about an hour to two hours depending on the day! I love this because one, I'm usually home by myself, and two, I use this time to study the gospel. I've found that I don't get much out of reading my scriptures or studying preach my gospel when it's right before I go to bed, especially since I'm not going to bed till I'm dead tired and it's late at night. So, I've tried to implement it into my daily schedule. This time used to be for relaxation, which for me was usually coming home eating lunch, turn on the TV and take a short nap. Now, it's for my personal growth and understanding of the gospel! I'm so much more alert and I'm feeling as if I'm getting so much more out of what I'm reading than I would have otherwise!

I'm also finding so many blessings in my life and can see a big change in who I am as a person. I feel as if I'm doing better in school and I'm a better teacher at my job! I also feel that I'm more understanding and loving towards my roommates! I've noticed a huge change in myself. I've always been very self-conscious especially when meeting new people. I usually am not myself and try to act like the person that I think people want me to be! Now, I'm me all the time! I've learned to not care as much. I don't hold back like I used to and I'll just be crazy me all the time. I'm loving this change in myself and I'm loving how much my understanding of the gospel is growing!

Some other changes I'm implementing into my life is that I'm stopping my addiction to stupid TV shows! I have loved, Glee, Chuck, Grey's Anatomy, etc...I don't know if it's just part of this change in myself, but I'm getting tired of all the drama, sex, and just all of the inappropriate nonsense they offer. I'm not saying that it's bad if you watch these shows, I'm just saying that I think it's a bad idea in my life to watch these shows. I'm doing the same with pretty media in general (movies, video games, internet....all except music). I feel music is an essential part of my life and I try not to listen to inappropriate music.

I can already see big changes in my life for these things and I can't wait to see the blessings the Lord will send me in the future!

September Update

2010-09-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." -Henry David Thoreau

This past month has been eventful! This is going to be out of order because I'm going off of my memory which doesn't work half the time! :)

-I was able to attend Heather's bridal shower! It was a great weekend! Sariah came and picked me up with her mom and we went shopping and to dinner. We drove up to Heather's for the bridal shower for Heather's friends! It was way fun and I got to meet Matt! That is Heather's fiance and he truly is amazing and is so perfect for Heather! Sariah and I slept over at Heather's and had major girl talk! I so needed that with them! The next day, we helped out with another one of Heather's bridal showers (She had around four or five of them total...I don't remember exactly). And then later, we went shopping for Heather's temple dress. This was such an amazing experience to watch her try on the dresses! It was such a great weekend with old friends and I can't wait to attend Heather's wedding here in a few weeks! :)

-I had a major growing experience this month! I'm not going to get into it too much. I just wanted to share of how much love my Heavenly Father has for me! He truly knows me better than I know myself. He has answered my prayers in ways that I couldn't have imagined and I'm eternally grateful to Him and for His love!

-My Roommates have been more than I could ask for! When I first moved up here to "Happy Valley" I expected to have wonderful LDS roommates, and live in a very social apartment and to make tons of friends, and what I got was the total opposite! It took a while for me to get where I even liked my roommates and through it I found Melissa. I went through a lot of trials with my roommates and I didn't even really know anyone in my apartment complex outside my apartment. It really sucked! Now, I live here in this apartment with my amazing roommates, who I'm coming to know and love dearly! We have such great times together and we're getting to know some amazing people in our ward! We've done some really fun things together! Last night we just decided to play steal the flag at a local park and invited tons of people and it was a blast! I'm excited for all the great experiences yet to come! :)

-This past weekend I went home to see my family! It was so nice to see them! I've really missed them and it was great to spend time with them! My cat missed me, which was so great! She came running up to me and I picked her up and she just loved and loved me and wouldn't let me put her down! She cuddled with me and slept with me! It was so nice! My nephew was also really excited to see me! I was hoping to be able to go home this weekend also. We go up to my cabin to watch General Conference in the fall, but because of school, travel expense, and driving in general has led me to decide to stay here. I'm going to watch it here at my apartment with Melissa and I'm excited for it! :)

There have been a lot of other things that have happened but this post is already long and I don't remember any more! :)

Mistakes

2010-09-18T17:46:00.000-07:00

I HATE MAKING MISTAKES! It seems that I've been making a lot lately!

My Apartment

2010-09-16T17:26:00.000-07:00

I've finally broken down and taken pictures for those of you who wanted to see my apartment. It's better that I waited, I should probably wait a little longer because we are not decorating, but we've made some huge leaps and bounds!

This is our living room! The top picture was taken while standing in front of the TV, and the bottom picture was taken while standing in front of the side table in between the couches. If you're looking at the top picture, then to the left is a glass sliding door that leads to our balcony, and to the right is the front door and the hallway leading to the kitchen. First, the changes we made in the top picture...The flower painting is mine, a good friend gave it to me a long time ago! The couches are an ugly plaid red, green, blue, and cream. They are disgusting so we got couch covers and then pillows to match the room. We also got new lamp shades. The old ones didn't match and they were old and had holes in them. Now the bottom picture... The TV, picture on the wall, flowers, and lamp, are Melissa's. And the tree behind the TV, that's mine. I knew something needed to be in that corner and I wanted a tree, but everywhere I looked they're like $100 dollars. Well, I was told to go look at DI and I did, and it was only a whopping $10 dollars! I LOVE deals like that! :) (And on the TV is "Say Yes to the Dress!" Love that show!)

These are pictures of my kitchen and dining room. The bottom picture is taken from inside the kitchen and then the dining room is taken from inside the kitchen. The kitchen is kind of small. And it sucks that the dishwasher, oven, and fridge are all in the way of each other if you're trying to open them up. Or if someone else is also trying to get to one of them, but it's really nice. The dining room is nice too! The pictures on the wall are mine, and the flowers are once again, Melissa's. To the left of the table is our pantry. We each have our own shelves and they are huge so you can have a lot of food in there if you want! Then you go down the hallway that you see in the dining room picture. You'll pass Paige and Mary's rooms/bathroom. (Their my other roommates and I heart them so much!) and then you'll come to Melissa and mine's bathroom. We share a vanity, but it's huge and we each have our own sinks. I have a door that goes directly into my bedroom. I LOVE IT! And then there's my bedroom!

I have the best room out of all of them! I say that because it's my room! :) I'd be happy in whichever one I was in, but this was the one I really wanted!

Well, that's where I'm living right now! I hope that you all liked it! :)

New Blog

2010-09-16T13:11:00.001-07:00

I created another blog that will hold all of my homemaking ideas and recipes. It's called "Corner of Toni the Tiger." Well, that's what it means in English, it's actually called, "Rincón de Toni el Tigre." I just wanted to separate the difference between what's going on in my life and the crafts and recipes I'm experimenting with. I hope you all will check it out! :)

Easy Homemade Egg Roles

2010-09-15T12:27:00.000-07:00

I got this recipe from my old young womens leader, Bobette Green! She taught us this one night as an activity. I've been hesitant to make them, because I really don't like egg roles, but I remember that I loved these. So I got up the courage to make them, and I did and once again, I LOVE them! And it is so easy to make!

1 lb sausage (cooked)
small bag of prepared coleslaw
soy sauce
egg role wraps (you usually find these by the refrigerated dressings and prepackaged salads)

*Cook Sausage and then add coleslaw. Cook till coleslaw is wilted. Then add some soy sauce - to your taste. Take a wrap and put a spoonful in a corner and then roll till the end. Fold over the two sides (you may have to wet the edges to help them to stick.) Heat oil in a frying pan or deep fryer. Fry rolls flap side down till golden brown. (A deep fryer would work easier, but I don't have one so I did it with my frying pan and you just have to make sure you rotate to every side so it's crunchy on all sides).

It does make a lot of egg roles so if needed cut recipe in half. I did that and I still ended up with a lot egg roles! So maybe cut in fourths! I hope you enjoy this!

Two AMAZING Recipes

2010-09-09T21:35:00.000-07:00

This first one, is one that my brother and his wife made us a lot over the summer!! It is the best! And it's so easy to make and it's great for me as a college student!

Southwest Chicken Salad: Serves 12 (I usually half it for myself)

4 Cups cubed chicken, cooked
2 Cups frozen corn, thawed (or canned corn is what I mostly use)
1 Cup chopped bell peppers (I usually like to do the red ones for color contrast)
1 Cup chopped onion
1 Cup minced fresh cilantro

Dressing:
3 Tbsp. lime juice
3 Tbsp. olive oil
4 tsp. honey
2 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. chili powder
1/2 tsp. ground pepper

In a large bowl, combine the first five ingredients. In a small bowl, whisk the dressing ingredients; pour over chicken mixture in large bowl and toss to coat. Refrigerate until serving. And you can either serve it with Tortilla chips, in flour tortillas, or over rice.

I've tried all three and I think the best way is with tortilla chips. I love this dish. It usually lasts me a few days and once I make it doesn't require any preparation. I can just dish some up in a bowl, grab some chips and then chow down! :)

This second dish is something I tried for the first time tonight! It was a great success! I love it! It's probably not the best for me to cook for myself because it's so big and I'm trying to figure out a way to make it smaller, but how would I get a smaller serving of french bread?

Chicken French Bread Pizza: Serves 4 (which I think it would actually serve about 6)

1 loaf of French Bread
1/2 cup butter, softened (I found it actually worked better if I melted it)
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/3 cup Parmesan cheese (and this is the fresh kind, not the kind you keep in your cupboard)
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 tsp. Italian seasoning
1 can (10 oz.) chunk white chicken drained and then chopped
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup chopped sweet red pepper
1/2 cup chopped green onions

Cut french bread in half lengthwise, then in half again widthwise. Combine the butter, cheddar cheese, Parmesan cheese, minced garlic, and Italian seasoning; spread over the top of the bread. Then sprinkle on chicken, pepper, onions, and top it all of with the mozzarella cheese. Place bread onto a baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes or until cheese is melted. Cut into smaller pieces if desired.

It is amazing! The only two things that I didn't like was that there was way too much food for one person and 2nd my mouth tasted of garlic for a while and I had to brush my teeth twice! :)

I hope you enjoy these if you try them out!

Day to Day

2010-09-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

My course schedule this semester has been easy, but I have tons of reading to do each day. Here is what my week looks like...

Monday/Wednesday

9:00 - Volleyball
10:00 - Spanish I
11:00 - Public Speaking *(this is also the only class I have on Fridays)
12:00 - Yoga

Tuesday/Thursday

10:00 - Spanish I
11:00 - Intro to Elem. Education
12:00 - Institute - Book of Mormon
1:00 - Health

Volleyball - I love this class so much! I've really missed playing volleyball and this is such a great way to start the day other than I'm gross the rest of the day!

Spanish I - I remember a lot of Spanish from high school, but this class is way more intense. We can't say anything unless it's in Spanish or we have a question, and if we say something like "thank you" in English then we have to pay our teacher money for a class party! I have a lot of worksheets and busy work in this class, plus just practicing speaking.

Public Speaking - This one of the classes I have tons of reading in. My teacher likes pop quizzes so I have to be prepared for each class. And I'm supposed to be writing an introductory speech right now. It's supposed to be my eulogy. Yeah I'm not excited to write that.

Yoga - MY FAVORITE CLASS! This is the hardest but best class I have. Yoga is amazing! I will probably do yoga the rest of my life! If you've never done it, DO IT! And do it in a class setting, because there is a huge difference between doing it with a video than in a class.

Intro. to Elem. Education - Can I just say...I HATE THIS CLASS! I want to be a teacher so bad, but my teacher in this class and I don't get along at all. I have to do 20 hours of field work in this class and it's worth over half my grade. I have figured out that I can only get about 16-18 hours total. I've tried talking to her about it, and her suggestion was to skip a couple days of my regular classes so I can get it done. Well, most of my classes my teacher's take attendance so if I miss a class then I'll be docked points, which doesn't seem like a whole lot, but I need to get all A's this semester to bring my GPA up high enough so I can get into the education program next fall. I guess I'm just going to do my best and hope it works out. (but I still don't like my teacher).

Institute - what more can I say? Institute is amazing! Bro. Hunter is probably my favorite teacher I've taken a class from ever! And I've only had him for a couple of weeks now!

Health - Such a fun class! My teacher is a chief of a fire department here in Provo. His take on teaching is not to make us do tons of homework, but to teach us things about life that can really help us become better people. I just love it!

So those are my classes! Now on to more...sorry this is going to be a long post!

Since I've moved back up here it's been hard. Very hard emotionally for me, but not as bad as the time I moved out with a broken leg!

I have never been as homesick as I have these past few weeks, even when I moved out the first few times! I got really close with my family over the summer and I spent all my time with them and it's been hard not having them around. Most days, I don't even want to get out of bed, but it takes all I have to get up and get ready for the day. Whenever I'm at my apartment, it's always on my mind no matter what I do to keep busy. I've really had to give everything I have to the Lord so he can help me get through each day. I don't know why it's been this hard. I'm happy, I really am, it's not like I'm really depressed or anything. I know I'm where I'm supposed to be and doing the things I'm supposed to be doing, but it's just hard to get through each day. And each day just keeps going and going; they last FOREVER! I don't know, it's just hard to explain.

But that's what has been going on with me the past few weeks. I have to actually get to my homework now and stop putting it off. :)

Lesson Learned This Week

2010-08-29T11:56:00.000-07:00

This past week in my Institute class we talked a little about fear. I don't know who said this quote, but Brother Hunter (my teacher) really made me think about this. It said something to the effect,

"If you have fear in your life, it means that you are on the right track!"

Bro. Hunter went on to explain...that fear comes from Satan and when we are on the right track, Satan tries to make us feel fear. So if we have fear in our lives, like if we are feeling fear when getting married, having a baby, attending school, meeting new people, etc..., that it usually means that it's coming from Satan who is trying to scare us from doing what is right.

Now this is not to be confused with when we're feeling the spirit. If the spirit is prompting us or telling us not to do something, don't get it confused with fear.

This made me really evaluate my life. I have felt tons of fear lately about moving up to school, starting school, making new friends/roommates, etc.... And I began questioning whether or not I was in the right place or if I would have just been better back at home with my family. After this lesson, I realized that this fear was coming from Satan. And that I just needed to relax and have faith. I am where I'm supposed to be and there is something good here for me that will help me grow. It's got to be something that Satan really doesn't want to happen because of how much fear I felt those first few days!

I'm so grateful to the Lord for all the help that he gives me. I love knowing that He loves me and that He's there for me 24/7! I hope that I can put more faith in Him and trust Him more than I have so that I can get rid of the fear in my life. I love this gospel and all that it brings into my life. I'm just so happy to have learned this lesson and I'm excited to learn so much more! :)

UVU Nazi's

2010-08-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

Before I get into what I want to blog about, I just wanted to say that school is going pretty good. I Love all my classes, but one. And I'm going to drop that one class because it's not required for me to graduate! The only problem is that all of these classes require a book. Which brings me to my main point...

There are many stores around that you can buy cheap textbooks from instead of from the UVU Bookstore. Well, to stop you from buying books from these other stores, UVU changes the books you need. I have one book that my professor didn't want, but UVU required him to use it and it's a brand new 2010 edition which just came out in June. Since it came out so soon and didn't tell their professors which book was going to be used, just that it was required, no other store around has it in stock, but they will get it in stock in two weeks, but I have homework due next week that requires me to get it now. So I had to go buy it brand new and extremely expensive. And Ladies and Gentlemen....this is not the only book that I had do this with...I have two other classes that this happened to also. So my books this semester have killed me. I spent way more than I thought I should. And it's because UVU is retarded and are Nazi's!

With paying tuition and fees, rent and utilities, parking, groceries, and now my books, I'm just angry that UVU has to make it so we spend as much as possible. It's almost as if they're discouraging students to not attend school. It's just way too EXPENSIVE!

Sorry for the venting, but it just makes me so angry!

New Roommates/Mental Breakdown/Meeting People

2010-08-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

Melissa and I have been so worried about our new roommates! We had such a bad experience last year and do not want a repeat! I had a dream the other night about our new roommates. One was a modern day Luna Lovegood. While the other one was a doped up on caffeine, non-stop talking, perky, fresh out of high school girl. It wasn't a very good dream. Our new roomies move in today, probably within the next hour or so. I'll let you know how things go later!

Also, yesterday I had my first mental breakdown of the semester! As most of you know I stress way too much over stupid stuff until things like yesterday happen! I went to my new ward and I LOVED it, except it was intimidating. Practically everyone there is a returned missionary (even the girls). And there's a whole different feel and expectation of living in BYU housing and especially since I moved into Carriage Cove which is known as "Marriage Cove." Not that I'm wanting to get married. With trying to find another job, getting ready for school, getting reacquainted with Melissa, being a little bit homesick, and everything else, I just let it all get to one point and when Melissa and I started talking last night, the tears came and wouldn't stop till I let it ALL out! I am okay just to let you all know. Melissa truly is a great friend and I love being here with her. I'm actually better today than I was yesterday. I'm not as stressed and I'm not as worried. The Lord is here for me and I can really feel His love today. I know that everything is going to be okay!

I have met so many people these past few days! I've met 3 or 4 Brian's and 3 or 4 Ryan's. And so many girls that I can't even start to tell you their names. I'm the worst at remembering names, but hopefully I'll get them down! And then with all the new people moving in today I'll get to meet so many more people!

Day 1 & 2

2010-08-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

-DAY 1-

Yesterday was a hard day. It was really hard emotionally for me, but some really great things happened as well. Yesterday was the day I moved to Provo! My day started out really well. I spent the morning with my Mom. I'm going to miss my family dearly, but my Mom was the hardest to leave behind. I just wanted to be near her all morning. It was really hard saying my goodbyes to her. I even cried the first few minutes as I drove from the gas station to Toquerville.

But once I past Toquerville I remembered that I was supposed to text my friend/roommate Melissa to let her know I was on my way. I couldn't find my phone anywhere. I even pulled off to the side of the road right before you get on the freeway and I could not find it. So I hopped into my car and drove back home thinking I left it on the couch there. As I was driving something felt wrong with one of my tires. I got home and I couldn't find my phone there. So I called it from the house phone and found it in my car in a very obvious place that I'm pretty sure I had looked there. I told my Mom about my tire and she told me stop at a place in town. I had them check the air on the tires and one of the tires was so low that it would have most likely gone flat as soon as I got on the freeway. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that the Lord has a hand in everything that happens. And I believe that He answered my prayer that I would have a safe drive up to school! I thought about this a lot on the way up and the spirit just reassured me that He really does answers our prayers! And I'm so grateful for His love for me!

Well, I got to Provo with no problems. I arrived at Carriage Cove Apts. This is where Melissa and I are going to be living. She's been living here since the beginning of the summer! We hung out and it felt so good to be with her again. I haven't seen her since we said our goodbyes last April. It's been tough not to have her in my life for the summer and I'm just so excited to spend this next year with her. We just talked for the first while, which was nice to catch up. It actually felt really weird to be here. I felt out of place a little and I didn't like it at all. But then, we went to dinner at Wendy's and then off to the mall for a movie. We walked around for a little while before our movie. We were originally going to see "Inception" because Melissa hasn't seen it yet, but it was really close to selling out and I hate sitting in a crowded theater so we went to "Eat, Pray, Love." Which I'm going to give you a rating on....

"Eat, Pray, Love" - Two simple words... LONG and BORING! The storyline overall was sweet and I did like it. It's just that the movie is just shy of 3 HOURS long. It dragged on and on. The Eat part was good. The Pray part was annoying and it was the hardest to watch. The Love part was interesting and at that point I was just ready for the movie to be over. There were 3 love interests in this movie. The first one was ugly and annoying. The second one was James Franco and his character was unique, but it's James Franco and I've been in love with him forever. The third one wasn't good looking at all, but his character was cute and I did like that the girl ended up with him. Overall, I will probably never watch this movie again. And it gets 2 stars. I probably would have given it 1 but once again, James Franco was in it.

So, Melissa and I came out of that movie just annoyed with how long and boring it was. We then headed back to her place (my future place) for the night.

DAY 2

Today has been an interesting day. I woke up this morning determined to go talk to Carriage Cove managers about moving today instead of Monday. I talked to them weeks earlier about moving in and they said it was not a possibility. They were only going to allow people to move in on Monday the 23rd and that was it. No Exceptions. Well, when I woke up this morning, there were TONS of people moving in. I thought it wasn't fair so I marched into their office, very determined to get my way, and I asked them and their answer was, "Oh yeah that'd be fine." They make me so mad! So I got everything done so I could move in. I got my keys and I headed to unpack my car. Melissa helped me and we also got help from a guy in our ward that Melissa knows. So here I am in my room unpacking (well not at the moment because I'm taking a break to blog). I HATE unpacking. I can't wait until I'm all the way done.

I'm grateful that I was able to move in early. It has taken a lot of stress off my shoulders. I'm so grateful to be here with Melissa. At times it feels like it isn't real because I'm so used to being at home. I am a little homesick today, but it's all good. I just need to get used to being up here again. I love my family so very much and I do miss them, but this is where I'm supposed to be. This is where the Lord wants me and I'm grateful that He has provided a way for me to be here. I'm going to tell the few of you who actually read my blog of all the fun and not so fun things that will be going this next year. I'm looking forward to another great year! :) Love you all!

One Too Many Stresses

2010-08-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

I have been so stressed lately! With school coming up, I have a lot of worries coming around...How am I going to pay for everything? How am I going to get a 2nd job? I hate packing and how am I going to get everything ready in time? How am I going to fit all the things in my car? Will I have enough time to get ready for school to start? Will I be able to handle my class schedule this semester? Will I be able to save money for a plane ticket? Will my budget that I've worked all summer on work? Will I be able to miss a full day of classes each month for Dr. Appointments in St. George and still get good grades? Will I be able to fulfill all the goals I have set for myself this semester? Etc....etc....etc....

I know I worry too much about things that don't really matter. I know that I don't handle stress well and it affects me way too much. I know all these things, but I can't get myself. I have never been as stressed for school as I have been now. My BIGGEST worry is money. My parents are helping me out with tuition and I want that to be all. I don't want to rely on them on a month-to-month basis. I already have a job as an after school teacher, which probably won't start till the middle of September and it's not the best paying job. I have some money saved from my job at the theater this summer, but it's not going to be enough to get me through the entire semester. I need to get a 2nd job. The perfect job would be a night job like working at another theater, a restaurant, or something of that sort. It would fit best in my schedule. I'm just stressed, I'm stressed, I'M STRESSED! AAAAHHHHHHHH!

I'm going to make it through I know that. I know that my Heavenly Father is watching out for me. I know that He will provide a way. I'm trying to have the faith that I need to not worry about this. I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see what happens.

One More Review

2010-08-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

Some Comments were left on my other post asking about the movie "Despicable Me" and I couldn't believe I forgot about this movie! I just have to give it a review too!

"Despicable Me" - I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch this movie at first. Then some extended family came in and they came out and just raved about it! A few days later I came to it with my family. My dad was extremely excited to see it which is rare for him. One of the best parts about the movie was during the previews for me. The trailer for "Megamind" (another one I'm excited to see came on and my mom leaned over and was like, "Toni, isn't this the movie we're seeing?" And then my response was, "No, that movie doesn't come out till November!" I guess her and my dad thought that that was the movie we were seeing and got really disappointed. The movie though was extremely funny! It has some of the best one-liners ever! My family and I still quote it! And my parents ended up loving it too which means that it has to be a good one for my dad to like it! "IT'S SO FLUFFY I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE!" This movie gets 41/2 stars!

Summer Movie Reviews

2010-08-02T23:04:00.000-07:00

This summer I've had an amazing opportunity to work at the theater here in town again and it has been a very interesting experience for me! To say the least, it's been quite a fun adventure and there are people there that I will really miss when I leave in a few weeks.

This summer has produced some amazing movies and some dumb ones. I'm bored at the moment so I thought I would give my personal reviews on some of the movies I've seen. I will rate with a 5-star rating system, 5 stars being the best.

Let's start at the beginning with the first movie I saw when I moved home....

"The Last Song" - this starred Miley Cyrus and her Australian boyfriend. I read the book before the movie, which of course made me somewhat disappointed with the book-to-movie aspect of everything. I LOVED the book and it's probably in my top 20. The only reason this movie is being listed because I'm considering reading the book again before I head back to school. I give the movie 21/2 stars.

"Iron Man 2" - It was funny and I enjoyed it, but the first one is still better. And I do love me some Robert Downey Jr. I'm going to say 31/2 stars.

"The A-Team" - Hilarious Movie! Very well done, I never got bored, and the ending was fantastic. They arranged so it wasn't a typical action movie ending and I loved it! It also gets 4 stars.

"The Karate Kid" - I previewed this movie and I honestly was bored. It was entertaining at some parts, but it dragged on way to long on certain things especially the "Jacket on...jacket off...jacket on....jacket off..."they didn't need to spend 30 minutes on that one thing. I actually left early because I had a hard time staying awake. I give the movie 2 stars.

"Toy Story 3" - Probably one of the my favorite movies of the summer! I thought it was a perfect end to the trilogy. It made me laugh. It made me cry. And any movie that can do both and especially bring out my water works deserves an extremely good rating so this movie gets a perfect score of 41/2 stars.

"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" - The whole movie saga has put a bad taste on the books. If you separate the two and look at the movies as though you've never read the book, then you really don't have a clue what's going on. I thought this movie was entertaining, but once again I was disappointed. 11/2 stars.

"The Last Airbender" - I have watched all the cartoons so because of this, I LOVED the movie! I found out through talking to people that those who watched the cartoons before they saw the movie, loved the movie, but those who didn't see the cartoons either thought the movie was okay with bad acting or that it was the worst movie ever. I love the cartoons and I wish they could have put into the movie that was in the cartoons! I give it 31/2 stars.

"Inception" - BEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER! This was the movie I waited all summer to see! I had the opportunity to preview it and I was blown away. It is a thinker movie and your mind is working the entire movie on how it works and what is going on and just everything else! After the movie was over I left with it still on my mind and I laid in bed for hours contemplating it and rolling over the ideas of the movie in my mind and trying to figure out how I think it ended (the movie ended with a small cliff hanger). I've seen it a few more times since then and I have just enjoyed it more and more each time! It will never get old! It get 5 STARS! :)

"The Sorcerer's Apprentice" - I wasn't going to see this movie at all, but my cousins came to visit and I took them to it and I actually really enjoyed it. I thought it was going to be another stupid Nicholas Cage movie, and once again his acting was mediocre, but the movie overall was decent. It kept my attention and it had some really amazing affects in it about recreating lightning. It gets 3 stars.

"Charlie St. Cloud" - Can I just say that Zac Efron is extremely hot in this movie! And his acting and emotion made an incredible performance. His best yet in my opinion. The storyline was amazing and it also had a little twist in it that I didn't see coming. Again it's another one of those movies that I could watch over and over again and never get bored. It's a keeper! 41/2 stars!

Those are the majority of the movies I saw this summer! There were a few duds in there that weren't even worth mentioning. There are a few this fall that I'm excited for too. We have...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Tangled
The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Tron Legacy

One Phone Call

2010-07-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in a slum and you didn't even realize it? Well, that's how I've been the past few weeks. I've felt like something's missing or just that something isn't right, I'm not really sure what it was. But I had some things happen yesterday that led me to call one of my bestest best friends, Melissa! She is my roommate at UVU and she's been one of the biggest supports in my life for the past year. Just talking to her last night gave me the boost I needed. It reminded me that I only have just a few weeks before my life goes back to where it's supposed to be. It just felt so good to talk to her. I've been in such a better mood today and I have Melissa to thank. She is such an amazing person and she really does brighten my life! She is an amazing friend and I'm very grateful to have her in my life! :)

Happy Birthday Brooke!

2010-07-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

I want to wish a very happy birthday to my life-long friend Brooke Barnum! I love you pretty girl and thanks for always being such an amazing friend to me! I hope that your birthday is tons of fun and filled with tons of memories! I love ya! :)

Another Visitor to Snakeville

2010-07-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

Last week my mother was up in her garden when she heard something in the lower bed. She bent down to see what it was and saw the end tail of a rattlesnake. We had to wait for my brother-in-law to come over so he could kill it. Well, he didn't kill it. He hurt it we believe pretty badly, but it got away. So we've all been in panic mode around here when it comes to going outside especially out by our garden. I'm hesitant to let my kitten out, I hate walking in from my car, I hate the idea of a rattlesnake invading near my home! We've never had a rattlesnake this close to home before! The animal control was out here to see if they could find it. Did you know that it's illegal to kill a rattlesnake because they are endangered? The only time it's okay to kill them is if it's about to strike you or another human. I say we kill them all...who cares if they are endangered...keep them in a zoo if you want to save them, but get them away from me and my family! The animal control guy told us though that if we see one really close to our home again, that we should just get rid of it or to call them so that way it can't have the opportunity to strike any of us. I hate Hate HATE rattlesnakes! Can someone find me a place where there is no snakes, scorpions, little potato bugs, spiders, or any other annoying creatures! Wherever it is, I'm moving there, no questions asked!

Snakeville and Scorpions

2010-07-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm living in Snakeville! I saw yet again another snake this summer around my parents house! They have all been king snakes or california king snakes except for one, which was a rattlesnake. I ran over something one day and I thought it had to have been a kid or something so I stopped and walked to the back of my car to see a flattened, medium-sized, rattlesnake. I was really happy that I ran it over because I'm extremely scared of snakes especially rattlesnakes. Another day my family saw a total of three different king snakes around our house, and one of them scared the crap out of me because it was poking it's head out of hole in our deck as I was walking past. And when we came back from Lake Powell, my mom and I went downstairs towards my bedroom, when all of a sudden I saw something move, it was a tiny baby california king snake! I just about wet my pants, I was so scared. My mom put it in a jar to show my nephew when I told her to chop it to pieces and flush it! Now, I'm always searching the floor and tiny nooks and cranny's for movement because I know one day there is going to be a lot bigger snake in our house and it's going to be a rattlesnake! This is the only thing I hate about living in Southern Utah! And last night as I was headed over to my brother's house, I had to wait for a medium-sized king snake to cross the road. I didn't want to run it over because King snakes eat rattlesnakes and I'm grateful that we have more of them than we do rattlesnakes.

Another thing we have a lot of is Scorpions! We find them all over the house! They are usually always dead from our house being sprayed for bugs and pests. I got stung by one once when I was in middle school and I was extremely sick for an entire week and really tired for another week because of it.

I just wish I had a magic button that got rid of all these nasty pests!

Happy Birthday

2010-07-12T09:19:00.000-07:00

So I'm somewhat late with part of this post, but I wanted to wish a very Happy Birthday to my brother and to his wife.

A Few Random Things About Me

2010-07-11T14:37:00.000-07:00

-I have a deep desire to learn how to quilt like my Grandma Wahlquist
-I love the smell and touch of rain
-I get somewhat obsessed and have to finish books, movies, and tv shows when I find ones I really like
-I always assume the worst, but act like I assume the best
-I have tons of friends but I only have a few I trust with my secrets
-I get really sick when I eat certain types of chocolate or a lot of chocolate
-I think Disneyland is fun, but I'd rather spend my time somewhere else
-I can spend hours just sitting in my own thoughts and dreaming
-I'm not much of a candy person, but I LOVE ice cream
-My favorite place on Earth is up on Kolob at my family's cabin
-I grew up eating a lot of meat so now I can't stand to eat a whole lot now
-I love to play board games or card games with loved ones
-Reading is one of my deep passions and I can easily get lost in books
-I have major trust issues when it comes to relationships
-Just the sight of a piano gives me relief let alone when I actually get to play one
-I get really depressed sometimes
-I really struggle when it comes to taking tests
-I hate taking medication and will avoid taking the simplest pill until I just can't stand it any longer
-I hide my problems inside me and tell people I'm fine when I'm not
-Music moves me and helps me understand my emotions
-I have a great desire to be good at everything
-I get really bad deja vu
-I used to hate being around my family and now I'd rather spend time with them then with anyone else
-I'm a very random person. People have a hard time keeping up with me and the way my brain works
-It's hard for me to be mad and to stay mad
-I hated high school but I love college

Lake Powell Trip

2010-07-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

Over the 4th of July weekend, my family and I went out to Lake Powell for a few days. It was an extremely fun vacation and here are some pictures of our trip!

Karen tried skiing! She got up, but we're all just proud that she even tried! She isn't that fond of water so it had to be really hard for her to try this!

Colt wake boarding

Scott wake boarding

My Mom on a wave runner

Sage knee boarding

Shaylee knee boarding

Heather knee boarding

Sage and Shaylee flagging

Colt knee boarding

Colt building a sand castle for Karen. The next day we had a sand castle competition, but my camera had died before I was able to get pictures.

Sage actually smiling. It's hard to get a picture of this girl smiling.

Karen and Keegan. He is such a little cutie and he loves to "doink" his Aunt Karen.

My Dad sinking in the sand with our house boat in the background.

Summer Projects

2010-07-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a few projects this summer. It's all been blankets and quilting projects. I have had a lot planned to do and I haven't knocked them out as quickly as I've wanted. I've learned a lot though and I hope that one day I can become a really great quilter like my Grandma Wahlquist.

Here are some of my projects...

This is my first quilt I've done. It's the first time I've ever done anything like this. I know it seems really simple, but I was really nervous for it and was worried that I'd totally screw it up. It has a few mistakes, but it actually turned out to be pretty nice. I've made this for my friend who is getting married. I hope she really likes it when I give it to her for her reception.

My 2nd project isn't all the way done yet. It's a rag quilt so I need to cut the edges and I'm going to tie each square also. This is a birthday present for a very special little lady in my life. :)

My 3rd project was a baby blanket for my friend Dani who is having a baby boy. It's just a basic baby blanket with a top and bottom and I tied it. Except I used a really stretchy fabric for the bottom so the blanket will have a rumply effect. It helps add a little more cushion and it looks really cool. You can kind of tell in the picture but not really.

My 4th project is a quilt I'm making for my bed for when I go back to school. The top is finished and the back is almost done. Then I'm going to hand quilt the top. It's been quite an experience. I'm so happy with how it's turning out.

My 5th project is a pinwheel design. It's been extremely difficult, especially since the cutting instructions were wrong. I was able to figure it out and I got my first block done. It's a present for my sister-in-law, Karen, for her birthday! :)

This is a picture of the design and what it's supposed to look like when I'm done.

My 6th Project is a blanket for another special lady in my life. I've got the fabric for the top and as soon as I'm done with the pinwheel, I'll start working on it. :) This is what it's going to look like.

I have a few more I'd like to try, but I'm not even sure I'm going to be able to finish these before I head back up to school. Hopefully I can! :)

My Life This Summer

2010-06-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd share what I've been doing for the summer.

I'm working again at the movie theater, which is fun, but it's hard sometimes too because a lot of my co-workers are a lot younger than me and the drama that goes on is just ridiculous. My favorite part is making cotton candy. Don't ask me why, cause I HATED it the last time I worked there, but now I really enjoy it! I've also made some friends there who make me laugh and make work enjoyable! :)

I've started to take up quilting. I'm starting out small and hopefully expanding into some major hand quilting like my Grandma Wahlquist does. I haven't finished anything yet, but I have four blankets in the works.

I'm spending all my time with my family. We've got where we're either playing card games every night, or swimming, or just spending time together. It's been really nice to spend so much time with my family!

My Mom and I got a kitten. She sleeps with me and I take care of her and I have just fallen in love with her. Her name is Frankie Boots. Frankie, like Frank Sinatra, and boots because her front paws are black compared to her white fur. She has the bluest eyes and a beautiful calico face. She is so playful and her and our dog, Copper, get along so well! Our family has just fallen in love with her!

I have had the chance to head to our cabin on Kolob a couple of times. It is so wonderful up there. It just makes me happy and makes life better.

I've been swimming a lot. My parents have a pool and last summer I only got in once or twice, but I've been in almost three to four times a week. I just love swimming and it's such a great exercise!

So that's my summer thus far! It's been fun and I can't wait for all the exciting things I get to do later with my family and friends! :)

My First Weeks of Summer

2010-05-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

The Last few weeks have been HORRIBLE! Here is a breakdown on what has been going on.

Friday April 23
-I moved home from Orem and started to unpack. Later that night, I went to dinner with Devin and Sarah and then up to Cedar to watch Off the Cuff with my friend Lizzy.

Saturday April 24
-I slept in and then continued to unpack. I went to dinner with my family and then we went up to the Imax theater to watch Avatar. I ate some plain M&M's, which was a really bad idea. My body doesn't handle chocolate very well so, the M&M's caused me to get really bad heart burn. Later that night, I got a really sharp pain in my stomach which kept getting worse until I couldn't bare it any longer. I woke my mom up and she tried to give me pain meds, but every time I took something my body would reject it and throw it back up. I continued to throw up for another five hours. The pain went away after an hour. I was finally able to get some sleep around six in the morning.

Sunday April 25
-I slept all day and only awoke to eat a few bites and drink some fluids.

Monday April 26
-Again I slept all day.

Tuesday April 27 - Thursday April 29
-Not able to really eat anything and just laid around trying to recover. I started to get a really bad cough.

Friday April 30
-Was able to get in to see Dr. Worwood. He hooked me up to an IV to get some fluids in me because I was so dehydrated. He also took some blood and ran a test that said something is not quite right with my gallbladder. He thought the cough was just a side affect. Later that night my cough got so bad that I really couldn't breathe. My mom had some cough syrup left over from when she had Pneumonia a few months ago.

Saturday May 1 - Sunday May 2
-My cough continued to get worse. I actually started to cough up blood which was a little scary. I had a really bad fever and still couldn't get out of bed.

Monday May 3
-We called Dr. Worwood about me coughing up blood and he asked me to go in and get a chest x-ray. That showed that I had really bad Pneumonia. This could have affected my blood test results so were going to wait and see on my gallbladder.

Tuesday May 4 - Wednesday May 5
-I'm taking antibiotics to help me get better which is working. I still have a really bad cough but I've been able to get out of bed and get a few things done.

This had been a really awful two weeks and I'm just happy they're almost over. I just want my summer to begin and to start doing all the things that I have planned!

This Past Year

2010-04-20T12:20:00.000-07:00

I've packed up pretty much all my stuff except for the things I need to get me through the next few days. My car is loaded and as I sit here in my room looking at the emptiness of it all, I feel sad. I have had so many wonderful memories, changes, and blessings come to me this past year.

Memories

*I think the funniest memory for me was when I put water in a container and put it on top of Elsa's door and then when she walked into her room it fell on top of her and completely soaked her. I had been sitting there waiting for it to happen for about an hour before she went in there. It was hilarious and it was the first night that started many other great water fights.

*I also think about when my roommates kidnapped me for my birthday. I was kind of having a crappy day and then they surprised me and made it all better.

Changes

*I had a lot of things happen this past year that has changed me forever. I think the biggest one was just a mere conversation. Some of my roommates come from really crappy, broken homes. I hear them talking about how awful their step parents are, and how bad things are at home, and I sit there and think about my family. I came to realize that my family is really great.

*Another thing that changed was my view on my life. I have always been a people-pleaser, and I realized that I'm much happier in life when I do things I want instead of what others want. I'm not perfect at it yet, but I've begun to do things my way and how I want, and I really am a lot happier in life.

Blessings

*Probably the greatest blessing I've received is my roommate Melissa. She has given me so much strength and help to get through things up here. She has become one of my best friends and I'm just grateful for all that she does and has done for me. I'm going to miss her terribly over the summer, but I'm excited that we'll be living together next year also!

*Another blessing is how much my relationship with my Heavenly Father has grown over the past year. I can't make it through an hour without saying a short prayer. I rely on his strength to get me through each and every day. I'm so grateful for that!

I have had so many things happen this past year and these are just a few things. I'm grateful for the hard times and for the good times. It has helped me grow to become better than who I was before.

Carriage Cove

2010-04-18T19:13:00.001-07:00

I went and looked at Carriage Cove and immediately I knew it was where I needed to be next year. Peace started to come when I got there and then the more time I was there and saw all that they had to offer, I knew it was the place for me. They had so much more to offer than I originally thought. Some of the things that I loved are...

*The bishop's offices are in the clubhouse
*The apartment is bigger than I thought
*There is an EXTREME amount of storage
*There is a gym right next to the laundry room so you can work out while doing your laundry
*The volleyball court is HUGE
*The manager was the nicest lady
*They aren't that picky about putting stuff on the walls...I can actually use nails (as long as they're small ones)
*And BEST OF ALL is that they can put Melissa and I in an apartment TOGETHER!

I filled out the application there and paid my deposit. They gave me a contract that I have already signed and I'm going to return it to them tomorrow. I'm really excited and I can't wait for the experiences that I'm going to have there!

What Should I Chose?

2010-04-13T21:24:00.001-07:00

I have to chose where I want to live in the fall soon because if I don't all the good places are going to be filled up. I have narrowed it down to three places that I like. They all have their own pros and cons which I'm going to list and then you all can help me decide because I can't make up my own mind. These are listed in no particular order...

The Lodges at Glenwood - Rent $265 for a shared room/9 month contract
Pros-
*AMAZING social life
*BYU approved housing
*Some Underground housing
*I kind of know some people there

Cons-
*Kind of Old and Run Down
*The Farthest away from UVU
*Smallest Bedroom

Carriage Cove - Rent $265 for a private room/1 year contract
Pros-
*My Own room
*My friend/my roommate now, Melissa, is there
*GREAT social life
*Closest choice to UVU
*BYU approved housing
*Sand Volleyball Court

Cons-
*Year long contract
*No Underground Parking
*I don't know if I want my own room, I really like having a shared room

Raintree Commons - Rent $265 for a shared room/9 month contract
Pros-
*Sand Volleyball Court
*BYU approved housing
*FANTASTIC social life
*Could have a pet if I wanted one

Cons-
*No Underground Parking
*small bedroom for a shared
*I won't know anyone there

I'm leaning more towards Carriage Cove, but the year round contract is what is bothering me most because I don't know what my life will be like at the end of the next school year. My Second choice would be Raintree Commons, but I still don't know. Oh Decisions...Decisions....

I'm So Excited!

2010-03-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

My sister Amy, her husband Erik, and their daughter Jordyn, ARE COMING TO UTAH! They will be here this next week and I just can't wait! I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Fill in the Blank

2010-03-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

1. Best day ever was...the last time my whole family was together, which was when Colt and Karen got married. I just remember how fun it was to all be together and to laugh and have fun. I love my family.

2. My favorite meal of the day is...a tough one to answer. I LOVE breakfast foods. I grew up eating pancakes for dinner and cereal for lunch so pretty much I love breakfast and I also love making dinner for my loved ones. I love sitting around a table, with great conversation. :)

3. This weekend I...spent my time relaxing and catching up on some things. I went to Disneyland last weekend so I'm two weeks behind in my laundry. I have had to do about eight loads to get it all done (I HATE mixing up colors and types so they are all half-loads). I caught up on sleep...which I've actually been doing all week. For some reason I've been really tired all week! I think I've slept between 8 to 10 hours each night plus naps each day...huh..weird. And I've caught up on my favorite TV shows, movies, etc...Melissa (my roommate) and I are having a Disney Movie Marathon tonight!

4. Never in my life have I...eaten Indian food. I heard it's really good and I've always wanted to try it, but it's never happened.

5. The only thing better than...ice cream is HOMEMADE ICE CREAM! Oh how I love it so much! I don't like the Hawaiian kind that my family loves, but I'll take it over store bought ice cream. I love Strawberry and Oreo/Cookies and Cream! It's the best!

6. I could really do with...a message. I've been stressed over school and work a lot lately and it would be nice to just relax for an hour and get a professional message!

7. The most recent thing I've bought myself was...Princess and the Frog on DVD. I'm a member of the Disney Movie Club so I only had to pay $10! Nice I know!

LOST

2010-03-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this show! They have all the episodes from all the seasons available to watch online and I have been able to watch all of them and I'm so addicted! It's intense and there are so many twists and turns and my favorite is that it will show something happening in one episode which doesn't seem significant, but then a few episodes later it will through this huge twist in that makes that one thing so important to the entire story! Anyways I just wanted to tell everyone how much I love this show! :)

Goals for the Summer

2010-03-09T12:49:00.000-08:00

Here are some of my goals for this Summer 2010...

1. Make a levi blanket

2. Make enough money to pay for my schooling

3. Spend as much time as possible with my family and building stronger relationships with them (not that they aren't already strong)

4. Finish Scrapbooking everything I need to get done

5. Spending as much time as possible on Kolob

6. Paint a couple of paintings

7. Finish my cross-stitch

8. Help my Mother and my Sister with cleaning and organizing their households

9. Learn a few more piano songs and learn a few more chords on my guitar

10. Attend the temple weekly

11. Read some of my favorite books

12. Read through the entire Old Testament

13. Spending money on a plane ticket to go see my sister in Texas

14. Help my nieces build a hut they can play in for the summer

15. Just have fun and enjoy my summer with my loved ones.

I know I probably won't be able to do all of these things, but I really want to try and hopefully get most of them done. I'm really excited for this summer and I wish is was the end of April already so I can say I'm moving home! :)

A Day of Favorites

2010-03-03T10:42:00.001-08:00

Today I'm going to post a few of my favorite things in life that make me happy! (These are in particular order)

*Playing the piano especially my piano - I love it when I've accomplished a song and I can sit and just play it through. I love it!

*Reading - I love all types of books, but lately my favorites have been by an author named Deeanne Gist. She's a Christian author and her books are based in colonial times and they are just sweet and romantic. I love them!

*Movies - I LOVE watching movies. I really gained this love while working at the movie theater during high school. Lately I've loved watching a lot of Disney movies! I've really tried to get movies that I can share with my kids so most of the movies I buy lately are Disney ones!

*Music and Musicals - Music moves me. It can portray how I'm feeling. You can sometimes tell what mood I'm in from the music I'm listening to at the time. Also, I love musicals! I love watching them, but I also love to just listen to the music. Most of the time you can hear the story through the words so it's almost like listening to a book on tape.

*Kolob - I love going up to my family's cabin. The air up there is so clean and fresh. It is the most beautiful place on Earth! I always feel so rejuvenated after spending time up there. It's also a place that I get to spend some quality time with my family and close friends. I've also had some great personal experiences up there because it's like getting closer to my Heavenly Father. Like Moses or the Brother of Jared who went up to the top of the mountain to be closer to God and to talk to Him. I have had some personal experiences of going off into the woods and just praying and receiving some great comfort.

*Playing Games - I love playing games. Especially with my family and close friends. I believe it's a great time to spend together. It helps strengthen relationships and brings loved ones together! I love all types of games from board games to playing soccer or ultimate Frisbee.

*Lilies and Roses - I love lilies! They are my favorite flower. I love stargazer lilies and just plain white garden lilies. Also, while growing up, at my Grandpa and Grandma Wahlquist's house, they always had roses in their yard. We also had roses growing in our back yard. I just fell in love with roses, especially red roses. I also like the pink and yellow calico ones.

*The Rain - I love it when it rains and especially after it has rained. I love the smell of rain. It breaths of new life and growth. It's so fresh and clean. I just love it!

*White Chocolate - Regular chocolate especially dark chocolate make me a little sick when I eat it, so I love to get things in white chocolate! I love it! It's just flavored sugar I know and not real chocolate but it's my weakness and I just melt away especially when it's Hershey's Bliss White Chocolate Squares!

*Dark, Rich Colors - especially red! I love rich colors! It's just romantic and passionate. And I kind of a romantic so that probably explains why. :)

There are so many things that make me happy in life and I try to thank my Heavenly Father everyday for all that he has given me! I am so blessed and to grateful for all of it! :)

A Hand in All Things

2010-03-01T12:26:00.001-08:00

Today I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father! Some things have been going around me that have brought me today to a realization of how he truly does have his hand in all things. He helped me sell my apartment contract so I can move home for the summer. He gave me understanding for the trials in my life right now. And I've also seen how he has helped my friends. It's just so amazing to see much he really does love each of His children. It makes me feel really special and makes me have such a great love for Him. All I can say is thank you Heavenly Father for loving me and for being there for me and helping me!

My Family

2010-02-27T11:44:00.000-08:00

I just went looking through my blog and I realized that I only blog about stuff when I'm upset about something. I do have some good things in there but most of it's negative. So I'm going to start something new and blog about something about me. I'm going to try to post one a week. It's going to cover everything from books, movies, to favorites in life, to everything I love about the gospel.

Today I'm going to start about my family and how much they mean to me. I'm including fun facts about how quirky they each are too! :)

MY DAD!
While growing up, I really didn't understand my Dad or even really get along with him. I really resented a lot of the things he would say to me or try to teach to me. I remember crying to my Mom a lot about how much he hated me and that his expectations were too high for me to reach. Well, now I have a totally different outlook on him. My Dad is such a strong, respectable teacher who loves me very much and only wants the best for me. I have come to see that all he has tried to teach me and tell me was for my benefit and was to help me become the best person that I can be. Even though sometimes we still hit heads (It's our Stratton stubbornness) I take everything he has to say to heart, considerate, and sometimes I'll actually act on it, but most of the time I do what I want anyways!:) I love him so very much! As I see him when were out and about talking to people, especially at church functions, I see such a great guy. People always say that but it wasn't until a few years ago that I began to see when they see. Dad I love you so very much and I truly do appreciate that you have done for me! Thanks for always trying to teach me and to help me! You really are the world's greatest dad! Now for a fun fact. One of my greatest memories of my dad was a deer hunt when I was about 12 or 13. I had just gotten my gun safety license and he took my cousin Collin and Me hunting up on our property on Kolob. We didn't even see a deer, but we spent the whole day hiking and walking around. I remember laughing and just having a really good time with my dad and my cousin. Thanks for that Dad! I also think of one time when we were at lake powell, it was night time and we were playing beach volleyball while listening to some music and he comes walking out on the plank between the beach and house boat and starts to demonstrate how to do the twist by "wiping your butt with a towel and putting out a cigarette!"

MY MOM!
Now my Mom! She is the most compassionate, service-oriented person I have ever met! She does everything she can for her family. Even with all her health issues she is always willing to do ANYTHING for me! She is always there when I need a friend. I can tell her just about everything and she'll give me advice, even though I don't want to listen most of the time. She has taught me how to do so much that will help me including things like, sewing, cooking, cleaning, and other things like how to me a good mother and wife. I take after my mom in a lot of things, and I'm proud to say that I'm glad about that because she is an amazing woman. She is my best friend and I love her for that! Thanks mom! I love you so much! Now a fun fact...I remember when I was younger, she and I went on a mother-daughter date. She took me to dinner and then we went and saw the movie Anastasia at the dollar theater. I just remember being so happy to spend some quality time with my mother! There have also been some very funny times too. Like when I tease her about how she can't kick my butt because she couldn't be able to reach. Oh I love you Mama!

HEATHER AND FAMILY
While growing up, Heather and I were really close. I remember many times that she's make time just for me. She always wanted to make sure I was okay and that to let me know that she loved me. Because of her example to me, I have tried to be there for her girls like she was there for me. Heather is stubborn, short-tempered, and very agitating at times, but she is also, very loving and caring. She has always been willing to do anything for me! She has taught me a lot through her example. She has made some choices that probably weren't the best, but as time has gone on she has always tried to get across to me that I didn't make the same choices for her. She didn't want me to go through the same things she did. She has always loved me and has always been there for me. I remember one time after she had moved out. She was living in a trailer and she invited me over to go swimming and to hang out and watch movies. And I just remember laughing with her and just feeling her love that night. I think she was really struggling at the time and it felt really nice for me to be there for her. I remember just cuddling with her while watching a movie. I will forever cherish that moment. Now, her husband Scott is such a pain in my butt! I love him though. He makes me laugh and we tease each other a lot but we get along really well. Their kids; Sage, Shaylee and Keegan. They are such a joy. I love spending time with "The Girls." I love being so close to them and getting to hang out with them whenever I go home. Now Keegan is a doll. Last time I went home, he kept saying "Hi Ne-Ne!" and gave me lots of hugs. That little boy as a smile that just melts my heart away every time I see it!

AMY AND FAMILY
I consider Amy one of the greatest examples in my life. She has always been the person that I wanted to be most like. I remember even once when she was in high school and I in elementary telling her this and it became such a great bonding moment for us. Amy has always been such a comfort to me. We shared a room growing up and I remember her always comforting me, especially when my parents and Heather were having a rough time. She is probably the smartest, most independent person I know. Whenever she sets her mind to something she does it. She has two master degrees. She went to Hawaii and New Orleans for school. She got to go to Ireland! She is such an amazing writer. Anyone who has ever read her blog can agree with me. I also remember reading a lot of her stories she wrote in high school. She is such an amazing mother and wife. I know we're not supposed to envy anyone, but the way her marriage is, and the way she runs her household is everything that I want when I get to that point in my life. She is such a caring person. She is a little shy, but when she shows you who she really is, you see an angel. I have her up on pedestal as everything I want to be. I know she's not perfect and I know she's make mistakes, but she is everything I want to be! I love you so much Amy! Her husband, Erik is a hoot. He knows everything there is to know about everything. I remember when I got to go visit them a while ago, he just knew so many little facts about random things. It's like once he hears it, he remembers it forever! He is such a busy body. He is always doing something. But the best thing is, he's amazing toward his family. He's a great husband and father. Now their daughter Jordyn is so cute. She is the prettiest little thing. She is also the smartest two-year-old I have ever met! She also says the funniest things ever!

COLT AND KAREN
Last but not least is my brother. Growing up, I really did not get a long with him hardly at all. We fought constantly. But as soon as he got home from his mission, we became best friends. He was there for me during a time that I most needed a friend and he was it. He included me with his friends, where I have become part of that little family known as "The Brotherhood!" He is just like my dad in so many ways. I love that we have so many things in common. We love the same books, movies, music, games, and so much more. I love that we play Magic together. I have so many memories of us just playing games together, talking, and smacking each other. We tease each other a lot and I always have so much fun with him! The best thing was when we lived together for a year while attending SUU. I had broken my leg and he was really there for me, and we got really close. But then he started to date Karen, and I was really upset because he wasn't around anymore. I felt like I was losing my best friend to some girl. What I didn't know was that I was gaining a sister. As I got to know her and saw the way their love flourished, a great relief came to me. I was worried that he'd never find someone to love, but Karen came along. I was so happy the day I found out they were getting married! I texted all my friends and I couldn't stop talking about it for weeks because I was so happy for them! I love stopping by their apartment on my way home and talking to them and seeing how things are going for them! They are so cute and adorable to watch! They truly are in love and it's nice to see him happy! :)

So that's my family! I love of them so much and since moving here to Orem, I have really come to appreciate them! I can't wait till this summer when I get to be around them. Amy is coming to visit and I'm so excited to see her!

Stupid Management Causes HUGE Drama

2010-02-24T17:19:00.000-08:00

To sell your contract here at Winter Haven you have to go to management and sign a paper letting them know. Well, I signed my paper back in November. I was sharing a room with my roommate Sarah at the time. The other girls in the shared room, Elsa and Melissa, were having a really rough time with each other so in January Elsa and I switched places. I told management about this and they didn't have a problem with it at all. Almost immediately after that, Melissa and I went into them and told them that if two friends come in wanting to share a room that the two of us will give them our contracts. (Our contracts don't end till August so if we sell them, we'll buy a contract from someone in the other building whose contract ends in May). So some time went by, and it's now the end of February. I went up to get a vacuum and just mentioned to management that Melissa and I are still trying to sell our contracts and really need to before the summer. When I bring the vacuum back up, Leann (our manager) tells me that she got two girls who want to live together send in applications and that one is coming to sign her contract the following day, and asks if we are still willing to sell our contracts. I said we totally were and I ran back downstairs and texted the good news to Melissa. Well, I went to work and when I got back, Melissa tells me that Leann called Sarah, still thinking that I shared a room with Sarah, and asks if that is okay with her. Sarah is also trying to sell her contract and she signed her paper back in October and Melissa only signed hers in January which puts Sarah at the top of the list. She said yes and gets all excited. Well, when I get home Melissa and I go up and talk to Leann and Leann realizes she made a huge mistake because she forgot to change in her computer in January that Melissa and I share a room and not Sarah and I. So she was telling us that she'd talk to Sarah about it and work it out. So as of right now, I know my contract is being sold, and I believe Melissa's is also, because Sarah won't speak to either of us and is really mad. When I tried to talk to her about it she said she put hers up for sell first so she should get hers sold, but Melissa and Elsa refuse to share a room again and management can't force them back together. So it's made things around here a little hard to deal with, but I can only think that I get to move home for the summer! Yay! :)

My Weekend

2010-02-22T17:50:00.000-08:00

The Bad Part:
First, I did really bad on a test. I wasn't able to go home because of really bad weather conditions. I found out some of my stuff was stolen out of my apartment and I had to file a police report. I had cleaning inspections on Monday. I had to deal with the stupid drama in my apartment that makes me want to crawl in a hole. And I had a total meltdown because of these things. My friend was attacked and mugged while on campus, so I'm now very afraid to go to my night classes.

The Good Part:
I did well on my health test. I only missed one question so I got a 99%. My roomates watched the Hannah Montana Movie with me (They hate her and don't want anything to do with it) and bought me a Jamba Juice to cheer me up. I went to my friend Jill's bridal shower. I had some nice talks and spent some quality time with my roommate Melissa who I get along with and who has been such a support to me! I got to attend church and partake in some amazing lessons. I tried a new recipe on Sunday called Chicken and Fettuccine which turned out really good and it's now on of my favorites. I played wackee six, phase 10 twist, killer bunnies, and candy poker with some friends. And I found out that someone is going to be buying my contract in April/May so I get to move home for summer! :)

100 Days of the Book of Mormon

2010-01-28T07:48:00.000-08:00

During the Holidays I got a little booklet from my parent's ward that's called "Learn of Me." It's a 100 day program of reading the Book of Mormon. I started it on Sunday so it's only been four days and I can already see a difference in my life. It feels like I'm able to focus more on my schoolwork and that I'm more intuned with the spirit. Each day it says to have a prayer, then it has a quote, then it tells you what chapters to read, and finally it gives you a scripture in those chapters that it would like you to mark and ponder. I'm really excited to be reading the Book of Mormon again! I'm already learning new stuff that I didn't catch the last time! The Book of Mormom truely is the word of God and I know it's true!

Big Bang Theory

2010-01-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

This is the world's greatest TV show! My friend Sariah got me addicted to it when I lived in Cedar! I have the first two seasons on DVD and watching while doing homework has really brightened my day. It's just so funny and while watching it I laugh a lot, which is good because throughout my day I don't get much opportunity to laugh.

My Average Day

2010-01-28T07:36:00.000-08:00

7:30 am - My alarm goes off and I slowly roll out of bed and start getting ready for the day
8:40 am - I start walking over to the free parking lot to ride the shuttle to campus
9:00 am - I am usually in my Institue class "Teachings of President Monson" or in my Education class learning how to be a good teacher.
10:00 am - I use this time to study for my biology class
11:00 am - My Biology 1610 class. I love/hate this class.
12:00 am - On Mondays/Wednesdays I have my Health class at this time. On Tuesday/Thursday I'm walking home from campus.
1:00 t0 3:00 pm on Tuesdays - I have my lab
1:00 to 3:00 - every other day I'm studying and doing homework
3:00 to 5:30 - I'm at work - I have the greatest kids ever!
6:00 to 8:00 - I'm in my night classes which are Math 1050 or Communication 1020; Public Speaking
8:00 to late - I'm doing homework or studying
Between 10:00 pm and Midnight - is when I get ready for bed and fall asleep

As you can see, I'm really busy during the week. But I don't have any classes on Fridays so I spend my time on weekends cleaning my apartment, doing homework, attending church and having somewhat of a social life.

Learning Patience and Diligence

2010-01-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

The biggest thing I have had to learn since moving up to Orem is PATIENCE. My roommates are really amazing sometimes, but most of the time I want to run away to a circus because they would be normal compared to them. They all haven't really figured out who they are and what kind of people they want to be. They aren't really open to new ideas and new ways of doing things. I get told a lot that things I like are stupid because they aren't willing to open to new possibilites. Two of my roommates are best friends and they have been in a huge fight lately. It got bad enough that we ended up having to switch rooms so they could separate. It actually worked out better for me because the room I'm in now is a little bit bigger and the bed has a lot better storage under it. Plus, the girl I'm sharing a room with now also goes to school so we understand each other very well on that aspect. Overall though, I have to keep reminding myself to be patient. I love these girls. We have had some really fun times and we have helped each other through some tough times.

Since school has started I've really had to learn DILIGENCE. I started out taking 19 credits. It seemed like it was all going to work out; none of my major assignments or test were at the same time. But then on that first Friday, I forgot that my English class was at 10 and went to it at 11. So since I missed it, I started thinking that it would be so much better to just drop it. So on Saturday I did. I dropped it and I felt a huge relief come off my shoulders. I didn't realize how much stress I was experiencing due to my workload. With all the rest of my homework though I've had to plan out a study schedule so I can fit in all of my classes and to be able to do really well in all of them. I really think I'm going to get really good grades this semester as long as I stick to my schedule!

Overall, my life has been really busy these past few weeks. I live, eat, breath, my biology book. My roommates are probably sick of me walking around the apartment going over how the atoms that make up the fridge or the wall are different types of compounds and how many electrons are probably in each atom and what types of atoms they are. When I'm not studying, I'm watching Big Bang Theory. Greatest TV show ever. Or I'm reading a book for pleasure. I set a goal that I'm going to read 4 books a month. I've read two already and I'm almost done with a third. They are very small books, so it's been easy. I've been able to have somewhat of a social life on weekends. Work is so much fun! I've decided to just have fun with the kids which has made a huge difference because they not only listen to me more, they are actually opening up to me.

I am really starting to like it up here.

School Nerves

2010-01-05T17:07:00.000-08:00

I am actually really excited for school to start. I have been waiting for this for a little while now and I have been getting really nervous. I am taking 19 credits this semester which is the biggest work load I have taken in my whole college experience. I'm really scared that I will not do as well in my classes as I want because of it. I am taking English, Biology and a Biology lab, health, math, communications: public speaking, and an education class. I know I can do it all, but I'm afraid I'll overload half-way through the semester and burn out, which will cause my grades to suffer. But this will be one of the easiest semesters compared to the ones ahead. So if I can get through this one, I know I'll have a chance to get through the rest of them.

The Best Birthday Weekend

2009-12-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

This past weekend has been the best birthday weekend EVER! Well, it started Thursday. My cousins Tyler and Darci came down from Rexburg and I hung out with them pretty much all day Thursday and most of Friday. We mostly just played Halo at one of their friend's apartment. I really suck at Halo and I spent most of my time dying and staring at either the ceiling or the floor, but it was a lot of fun because we had it set up where it was our apartment against another apartment upstairs.

After they left, I went on a date with an old friend from high school. His name is Jonathan Wilcox. The last time I saw him was when he spoke at his homecoming which was over a year ago. We've talked on facebook a little since then and it was really nice to catch up with him and to see a friendly face. We went to a pond down in Salem and saw all the pretty Christmas lights and then went and got hot chocolate. It was a fun date and I was happy to see an old friend.

Then Saturday was amazing! Two of my best friends, Sariah and Heather, met up with me and we went to lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory and then went and watched "The Princess and the Frog." First off, it was AMAZING to see my friends again. We spent all of our time together for the most part of the last school year and summer and it's been really hard to not have them around the past few months. It was really nice to see them and to laugh with them, and to just talk with them again. It gave me a big boost to see them. Second, the movie is one of the best movies EVER! It was so cute and I just loved "Ray." I can't wait to go watch it again.

Sunday, was really good too. At church we had our Christmas discussion in Sunday School, which is my favorite hour of church in my ward. I love Relief Society and Sacrament Meeting, but I learn the most in my Sunday School class. Anyways, we were discussing the First Presidency's message in the December Ensign, and it really started me thinking about Christ and about his sacrifice for us and how we need to find our way to him. I'm re-reading a book called "Believing in Christ" which is one of my favorite books ever, and later in the day I was reading about how we need to trust the Savior. How we can't receive exaltation without him and to trust him to help us in our trials. That we can't be perfect ourselves and we shouldn't try to be, but that we should try our best and He will make up the rest! Then I read one of the conference talks in the November Ensign and it talked about making our burden's light. It talked about all the different types of burdens we may have and about how to rely on Christ to relieve the burdens. That He has already suffered for them, so just let Him take them away from you.

Then that night as I read my scriptures, I'm trying to read the four gospels by the end of the year, and right now I'm in Luke. That night, I read chapter 15, with the parable of the prodigal son. I was getting a lot out of it, but then as I read verse 20, which says, "And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him." this hit me because the spirit taught me that, if we just make the decision to turn to our Savior, and start on our way and make an effort, then He will run to us and love us, hug us, kiss us, and just embrace us as He helps us through our trials. I also thought that as the prodigal son made his way, "he was yet a great way off" and then when the father saw him he ran to him and walked with him the rest of the way. This could also be like our Savior. We have to go so far and then the Savior will come in and will walk with us the rest of the way. It was just amazing to me how all day I was being taught by the spirit. It truly is remarkable what Elder Scott said in the last conference about how if we don't continually listen to the spirit and if we don't keep asking, "Is there anymore?" then we will miss out on "the most precious, personal direction of the Spirit..." Because of my experiences on Sunday, I received some very personal inspiration that has helped me a great deal.

Monday, was my actual 22 birthday. My best bud Brooke texted me at midnight to wish me happy birthday, which of course I did wake up to! And then Sariah texted me at like six in the morning, which also woke me up! Then after I had woken up, my sister Heather sent me a picture text of my nieces and nephew. It said that they loved me and wished me a happy birthday, which made me cry because I'd love to spend my birthday with them! Then my mom called me and sang to me! It was really nice and also made me tear up. At this point I was getting really kind of sad, and was thinking that my birthday was going to be crappy because I can't spend it with loved ones. But then my roommates came home and we went to Walmart, where I got myself the new Super Mario Brothers for the Wii and then they took me to lunch at Subway, which is one of my favorite places to eat! Then my roommate Melissa and I played my new game and had a lot of fun trying to figure out how to play it. Then I went to work where all my kids wished me a happy birthday! They are such great kids and they were so good for me, which was the best birthday present they could give to me! Then after work, I found out that my mom and sister had sent me flowers, but because no one was home, they weren't able to deliver them and I had to go pick them up, but by the time I got off they were closed. Then all my roommates had to work, and I had sent out a text a few days before inviting people to come and play games, but most of them had to prepare for their finals, so I got a little sad because I was going to spend the night alone. Then, I got a text from my friend Brandon, who I had sent the text to a few days earlier. He asked if he could come by and wish me happy birthday! Then as he was on his way over, my neighbor, who I had seen at church but who I didn't know, came and knocked on my door asking about FHE. We weren't having FHE this week because of finals so I invited her in to play the wii with me. Then Brandon came over and he joined us too. It was fun catching up with Brandon and also getting to know my new friend Ali. Then after they left, my roommates came home and they kidnapped me and blind folded me. We drove all around, and I had no idea where we were. We made a few stops, and they made up some type of story that I did not believe. And we ended up at the school library, with pizza! On Sunday they had asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told them a boyfriend (jokingly of course) so on the box of Cinnamon bread a guy at Domino's had written his phone number for me (of course I'm NOT going to call!) Then as we were leaving they asked a random guy for his phone number to give to me because I wanted a boyfriend for my birthday! I was so embarrassed!

It really was such a good birthday! On Facebook, I had tons and tons of people wish me a happy birthday! And I got tons of texts and phone calls from loved ones. It was so nice to see how truly loved I really am! Thank you to all my friends and family for all that you do for me! You really are the best parts of my life! Thank you so much! :)

Random Blogging

2009-12-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

So not much has really been going on lately. I'm still working at my amazing job with my kids whom I love so very much. They sure do keep me on my toes and don't let me get away with anything, but they don't get away with anything either! :) My roommates are still driving me crazy, but it's teaching me a lot of patience. My goal is to make it to the end of spring semester without hurting or killing any of them. I'm pretty sure I'm going to make it, but it's going to be very hard! Ha Ha :) I still haven't found any friends that I can really talk to or hang out with. I have my roommate that I share a room with that I talk to about things, but she's four years younger than me so it makes it difficult to open up about things because she doesn't understand. I do talk to my mom pretty much everyday which is really nice. I'm just hoping that when I move back up here next fall that I'll find some friends and people I can hang out with. So I've decided I'm going to move back home next summer and work for my dad. I'm going home for Christmas in two weeks and I'm counting down the days. I can't wait to get a long break and spend time with my family! :) I thought I was going to have to spend my last week in apartment all alone, but I found out that UVU gets out a week after all the other colleges do so my roommates will be here. I have finally finished some of my christmas presents. It took me forever, but I got them done. I made of goal of making my first levi-quilt during the holiday break so we'll see how that goes. Christmas is going to be very interesting with it just being my parents and me, but I think it will be really nice to spend some quality time with them. So I know that this is all random information, but I felt like I needed to blog about something. :)

I love you Mom

2009-11-17T22:25:00.000-08:00

I don't really have any close friends that I can turn to anymore. We've all gone our separate ways with no fault to anyone but me. So I've been really lonely for conversations and just to talk about my day and about my life with someone. So I've been calling my mom. She has just been amazing. I can call her anytime of the day and she listens to me whine about how crappy my life has been lately. She is what helps me get from day to day. Mom, I love you so much! Thanks for being my best friend! I've always wanted a relationship like this with you and I'm so grateful I have it. Thanks for putting up with my faults and for helping me becoming a stronger woman each day. You are the world's greatest Mom! I LOVE YOU MOM! :)

A Letter From Me

2009-11-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

Both and Colt and Karen did a post like this so I'm going to do the same...I hope that's okay.

Dear Snow,
I hated driving in you the other night. I was really scared and I don't ever want to go through that again!

Dear UVU 15th Ward,
I have been coming to you almost every Sunday since I've been up in Orem, and I really hate it. We are not a ward family. We are just a group of strangers who don't care about each other. I'm thinking of switching wards, which I don't like that either, but I just don't know what to do.

Dear Roommates,
I love you guys, but please stop fighting all the time over stupid stuff. If I don't want to tell you things about my life, then don't worry about it. It doesn't mean that I don't like you, it just means that I'm a private person who doesn't want to share intimate details of my life with someone I just met. Also, if I don't join in on the things you do, it's because I don't want to, not that I'm too shy.

Dear Mom and Dad,
I never realized how lucky I am to have you as my parents. I see what type of families my roommates have come from, and I realize that I have it really good! Thank you for all that you have done and for all that you do. I love you both very much! And Mom thanks for listening to me when I call you! I look forward to talking to you everyday! It makes the day so much better for me!

Dear Social Life,
I hate you right now! I know that I say that things are okay, but they aren't. I'm extremely lonely all the time. I hate how I'm spending most nights in my apartment. I hate how no matter how hard I try to make friends in Orem, it just never works out. I have friends around in the area, especially over in Provo, going to BYU, but they are all so extremely busy so I haven't got to see them. I just really need a friend here that I can turn to. And in the boy department, it's just ridiculous! Every guy that I've gone on a date with while in Orem, have turned out to huge jerks. I'm tempted to just give up in that department.

Dear Job,
You are what gets me through the day! I love my 5th graders! I'm trying to be the best teacher that I can, and I love when my kids run up to me and say "I love you Miss Toni! You're the Best!" I know I complain about them a lot, but I love my Job!

Dear Siblings and their spouses,
I'm sorry I've been wrapped up in my own world lately. I haven't really checked in on all of you lately and I know a lot has been going on! I love all of you so very much! Thank you for being such supporters of my life and for loving me! I'm always here for each of you even if sometimes I don't act like it.

Dear Life as a whole,
I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be, but it's just been really hard adjusting to life here lately. It was great at first, but it's really started to get hard. I miss my family and my friends. I'm hoping that with time, I'll start to find my place here.

Life is Full of Surprises

2009-10-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

It amazes me everyday how much influence the Lord has in my life. He blesses me everyday with the smallest and simplest things that it's hard for me not to break down in tears of gratitude. As I look back on the events in my life the past few years, I see that everything I've gone through and have done, have led me to this point in my life of happiness. A girl asked me a few weeks ago, How can you be happy when you don't have a boyfriend, or some type of boy in your life? And I answered, it's easy. I don't need a guy to make me happy. The gospel fills me up with happiness, along with the other things in my life like my family, my friends, and my job. Also, the little things like, rain, flowers, cheesy corny musicals, music, playing the piano, reading a good book, cuddling up in front of fire, improv comedy shows, playing magic with my brother, and many many other things. I'm not saying that I don't need a guy at all. I want to get married some day, but for right now, I'm very happy with who I am, and who I'm becoming, and with most of the things in my life. I'm not perfect so there are things I'm working on to become the best me, but I love the progress I'm making! Life has just been really amazing lately and I'm grateful for it all. I owe everything I have to the Lord! :)

Here are some pictures of me and my roommates last weekend!

My New Life

2009-09-28T08:23:00.001-07:00

I've moved up here to Orem and I've settled pretty well.

I have pretty good roommates from what I have seen thus far. The girl I share a room with is only 18, which has been an interesting experience, but has been fun. And two of the other girls are best friends, and have known each other for quite a few years. And then one of my roommates is in jail so I haven't met her yet and the other one pays rent and her stuff is here but she lives at home with her family and I've only met her once. So, my roommate experience has been totally different for me. I get along with my roommates and we're all becoming good friends, but I need to find my own group of friends outside of the apartment. It's nothing against my roommates, but our maturity levels are all way different and it's been a little challenging for me to get used to it.

I start my job today. I've had training meetings thus far and we actually start the after school program today, so I get to meet my kids and I'm way excited for that! I'm also nervous because I'm not sure exactly how things are going to go, but I hope for the best.

I'm still looking for another job. I'm hoping that I can find one soon! It's been a little difficult though to find out to work around my other job and my school schedule.

Things with school have been a little frustrating. I have a lot of things I have to get done and papers to get turned in, and once I think I get something done, I've either turned it into the wrong place or it's the wrong paper. It's just been crazy and hopefully I can get everything worked out this week!

I miss my family and friends, but I love my life up here and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can't wait till I start school and really get a social life because then life will be even more amazing!

Things Are Working Out

2009-09-20T07:47:00.001-07:00

Last Tuesday I got a text message from my friend Pauli, who lives in Orem, that her boss is looking for someone to hire. She gave me the information and I immediately emailed the lady that night and we set up an interview for the following Thursday. I drove up early Thursday morning, made it in time for my interview, and at the end of my interview I GOT HIRED! :) YAY! It's an after school program at an elementary school so I only work a couple hours a day, Monday - Thursday, but I get paid enough to cover my rent and utilities. And I'm going to be an actual teacher. I'll have my own classroom full of 6th graders and I spend the few hours helping them with their homework, having P.E. and reading time. This will be an amazing experience and it will help give me experience for future resumes when I'm applying to be a teacher. Right after my interview, I went over to my new apartment and got everything there worked out and signed for me to move in on Wednesday. So I only have two days left at home to get everything packed and ready to go. I'm way excited about how everything is just working out! I'm really nervous and scared to move up north because I don't really know anyone up there, but I'm way excited for the new experience and all that I will learn! :)

A New Routine

2009-09-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

So I've had to get a new routine down since I've moved home and it's been a little stressful. The hardest part was moving back into my parent's house. I really like my independence and having to deal with them telling me what to do has really drove me nuts. I've only really gotten upset about it once though so I'm pretty proud of myself. I usually don't have any patience when it comes to my family. Next, I don't have a job or anything to keep me really busy and I don't have roommates that I can hang out with. So this has really made me miss Heather and Sariah. After spending most of year with these two girls, they have become a huge part of me, and going from seeing them every day to not seeing them has been really hard for me. Plus, my best friend Sarah got engaged this past week and she and Devin spend all of their time together which is fine, but it's hard to find time to spend with her. And then all of my other friends are busy with work and school so I don't get to see them much. I've started to watch stupid TV shows, which I hate doing because it gets me addicted to them. My parents are on a diet so when I cook a small meal there is still a lot of leftovers that I have to eat for days. I guess I just can't wait to get to Provo! I found a really great apartment! I might be getting a job at the Best Buy in Washington, so it'll be easy to transfer to one up north! I feel like that's where I need to be so I'm just anxious to get up there.